Would You Rather #3: Agree to an Arranged Marriage or live life Single?


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Sounds like having to choose between the extremes of two sides. You don’t have to be married to know marriage is no joke; not a pill commended for boys and girls to swallow because they will choke on it for sure. Neither is it a ‘lived-happily-after affair’; those are just the endings we read in our favorite fairy tales to keep us happy. No matter how well planned a marriage can be, one can never tell how the cards will play out after ‘I Do’ falls out of the lips.

Being single is fun as long as your society allows it.  When there’s no pressure streaming from family, friends, family friends, colleagues, church folks and even ‘concerned neighbors’, being of age and unattached could be described as the image of ‘youthful freedom’. You are free to live your life the way you please (not so much if you hail from my culture); your money is yours to spend, save and invest as you deem fit, mingle and explore the world to your heart’s satisfaction. It only begins to feel like a weight when society tells you your fun time is up and it’s time to ‘get serious’.

I stand to be corrected but arranged marriage doesn’t necessarily mean ‘forced’. India is known for arranged marriages and interestingly, has the lowest divorce statistics in the whole world according to one Aditya Mahajan. This could be because most Indian cultures disallow divorce. But nonetheless, I find it intriguing that the western cultures which advocate for love and free will to choose can’t seem to hold their marriages together. If you claim to love someone, then it should be relatively easier to endure the storms together and come out the end still strong, right? But modern marriage seems to rather be the exception to the rule.

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Photo credits to Google Images.

I am enjoying my single life; I get to plan my life without having to consider someone else in the equation for the meantime. But I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life by myself. I do appreciate companionship and everything that comes along with it; and I can’t wait to experience that phase of life with someone. Life doesn’t get any easier with age and definitely won’t be less stressful living it alone. Others may argue that living ‘single’ doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ‘goodies’ that married people do. What do they call it, spouse equivalent? Well, I don’t buy that.

I won’t call myself an advocate for arranged marriages. I prefer to meet someone and make the choice myself with the approval of people whose opinion matter to me, of course. So that when things get tough, I can hold myself accountable for the choice I made and thus forge ahead to make it work.
But when push gets to shove, I might choose the former over the latter.

Because after all, love is a decision and a conscious effort to care for and stand by someone regardless of the person’s shortcomings. One huge minus of an arranged marriage is not having to assess the person yourself to see if you can deal with his/her ‘baggage’. The discovery of certain habits of people we know and love can be shocking; how much more someone we might have no inkling of? Could be traumatizing.

But if one’s mind is made up to stick together come what may and not always consider taking the exit when there’s a clash, then it is more than probable to work. India has proven to be a success story of that more or less.

What about you? If it boils down to these two choices, which one would you make? Can’t wait to find out!

Josephine Amoako © 2016

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34 Comments Add yours

  1. i would not mind an arranged marriage either…i think

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Doesn’t sound too bad, huh?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. AtimMercy says:

    Uuh.. I guess an arranged marriage wouldnt be so bad…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Yeah, think so too. 👍

      Liked by 1 person

  3. AtimMercy says:

    Uuh.. i guess an arranged marriage wouldnt be so bad..

    Like

  4. vhuvu says:

    I think I prefer arranged marriages.. I THINK. A BIG I THINK. lol
    I have noticed that the statistics show that those in arranged marriages have lower divorce rates.
    Maybe its the issue to deal with shame and being ridiculed in their particular culture. But somehow its like they learn tolerance (accepting one’s flaws). I’ve read of those who eventually fell in love with their husbands later on in life. and it seemed beautiful and scary at the same time.
    Then again finding a man on my own seems nice. Falling in love at your own time. but the hustles of finding that man.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      I know, right? And I totally agree with you. A BIG think! 👍

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amanya says:

    Strangers make the best friends. They should make the best partners too. I can’t even be single for two days.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Lol… For two days?

      Like

  6. Joel Jemba says:

    Haa! wait all these comments are in support to arranged marriage, mehn! No, wait some are not sure, they just have a thought it would be this and all. But ooh well I’m in for that single life arrangement. Okay bye

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Haha.. Always a pleasure to have you around, Joel! ☺

      Like

  7. I dunno know…
    This is definitely putting it in a different light.


    Lemme think on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Sure! Thanks for reading 👍☺

      Like

  8. Maybe arranged marriage? Though in the US we have this show called Married At First Sight, and it doesn’t always work out so well!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for sharing your opinion, Christine! ☺

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jhaneel says:

    Maybe it’s because I grew up in fairly relaxed cultures, but I THINK I’d rather be single than commit to being with someone for the rest of my life without knowing anything about them. The pessimist in me is talking but I immediately imagine all the unbearable traits that the person might have..
    Then again, I also can’t imagine living my entire life single. I’d have to get a couple pets and LOTS of close friends, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Totally understand. Thanks for sharing your view! ☺

      Like

  10. IAmDonovan says:

    Interesting question! I think I’d prefer to be forever single. I mean, I’m almost 20 and have been totally single thus far, and while some days it kinda sucks, I normally don’t mind. Cooking for one, shopping for one, not worrying about how I dress or act or what I do. Not having to argue with someone or fight about what movie to watch. As long as I have close friends and family and a job, being single wouldn’t be the worst thing.
    We’ll see if I feel the same way in five years when all my peers are due to get hitched….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Donovan! Interesting point of view

      Like

  11. joymanda says:

    I’d agree to an arranged marriage. I believe love grows and if you make up your mind to love someone despite his shortcomings, you’ll able to endure everything. Besides, why are some people being pessimistic about this and assuming the person could be bad or have bad character traits? The person could also be good and even be one of the best persons you’d ever come across. You never know. But seriously, I can’t imagine being single for the rest of my life? Hell no. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Same here lol… Thanks for your input 👍

      Like

      1. joymanda says:

        You’re welcome 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  12. SmindlO says:

    I believe…single is okay

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for sharing your view. ☺

      Like

  13. Ufuomaee says:

    I’m already married, so this doesn’t apply to me. However, if I was still single, would I be desirous to marry enough to settle for an arranged marriage…? I don’t think so! Marriage is hard enough, even when you go in with both eyes open, having made the choice yourself. Though being single is not a piece of cake either, I think depending on your lifestyle and sex-drive, it might work out better. If not for the problem of sexual immorality and the need to bring up children in a secure home environment, marriage as a primary lifestyle should be an outdated concept. I think this accounts for why many don’t work out anymore… People are too independent, and the world is no longer built on the foundation of marriage and families, but on personalities. With social media, you can actually be closer to people on the other side of the planet than you are with your spouse! Just my thoughts… I hope I didn’t discourage anyone. If you can stomach it, consider the benefits of singleness with close friends!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Interesting point of view.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ufuomaee says:

        Hi Josey, I’ve got a Would You Rather for you… I don’t want to steal your thunder, so I’ll let you write it, unless you think it best I write it.

        This is it: Would You Rather Be Miserably Lonely in Marriage or Be a Miserably Lonely Single?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. joseyphina says:

        Interesting question… Since it is your idea you should write it. Can’t wait to read your thoughts on that. And besides you’re married so you can make more valid points than I can 👍

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ufuomaee says:

        Lol! Ok. I’ll put it in my drafts to develop

        Liked by 1 person

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