Joseyphina's World

Writing is one thing I passionately love and sharing with you is my greatest joy…

When Your Husband says, ‘Call Me Daddy.’

Photo credits to Google Images.

A man’s ego is intricately woven into his DNA, I believe.  An expert once said that an essential key to a successful relationship is knowing how to massage his ego and making him feel appreciated for all his efforts, whatever they may be. But what happens when he sees the ego-pampering as a ticket to impose his will over the lady? Have a read at NaYaa’s story.

She went in for a much older guy; ten-year difference to be exact. Why, because she has been told the older he is, the more responsible he would be. As for the young ones, they were not serious. They may be excellent boyfriends but definitely not ‘take-homeable.’  They were still growing up. They were still boys in adult bodies. And everyone knows that the female’s biological clock ticks faster than the male’s so there was no time to wait.

Oh, he was the epitome of humanly perfect. He had deep pockets and he didn’t mind no matter how many times a day I dipped my hand into it. All she needed to do was call him ‘Daddy’. Just a tender stroke on his ego and the ‘windows of heaven’ were opened to her.
But unfortunately, when he said he liked to be called Daddy, he meant every word of it. His word was final. No idea or suggestion was acceptable; he found it insulting.
‘I am the head of the family’, he would point out and he never tired of reminding her whenever my tongue rolled out in a matter.
“But I am your wife; we are supposed to talk things through together…as one,” she would protest.
“It seems you haven’t been reading your Bible. In case you didn’t know, it says that wives should submit to their husbands.”
All she could do in response was blink blankly. Did he just play the ‘submit-to-me’ card?

As if that was not enough, he found it obligatory to correct or chastise her no matter how public the place was. At first, she would take it in good faith believing that she kind of deserved it. But she realized a little too late that it was a habit of his, one he actually enjoyed.
Why was I laughing so hard?
Don’t stare at someone like that; it was rude.
You’re yawning? Seriously?
Like duhh! I’m human, she’d fume inwardly. She used to get red in the face (literally!) especially when he got in his ‘scolding father mode’ in front of his friends. But with time, she got used to it…omg, did she grow immune and become ‘shameless?’

And to top it all was his classic silent treatment. She thought that was exclusive to women used to punish their guys. How wrong she was! Even when he was in the wrong, it had to be her ‘duty’ to apologize. She thought she could ignore him till he tired out of that ‘inconsiderate’ attitude but she was the one who always caved in at the end. He proved to be a master in this silent war game.
“Oh I’m sorry, daddy. It will never happen again,” she would say softly. With a few strokes and caresses here and there, he’d smile and then all would be forgiven. Seriously, since when does the offended apologize to the offender for what the latter did to the former? NaYaa’s husband was the exception to the rule, it seemed.

He had the money and he took good care of NaYaa but she was losing herself in the process. She was gradually forgetting how to speak for herself and demand to be heard. Leaving him was not an option. Her life was turn to nothing if she left him. She had nothing to call hers; her education not complete, no particular skill she could boast of.

“I’ll keep on praying; God will change him,” she’d say hopefully.  She had married early to get away from the tyranny of her daddy but found herself in the house of another. Rushing for a husband, she found her father in an upgraded level with a different face.
Before, she found it fun calling him ‘daddy;’ now, it was a bitter pill to swallow. What one would give up just for a little material wealth….was it really worth it?

Living Epistle


When applying to school or for a job, a recommendation letter is required. It is a silent but powerful voice approving you for a particular position or institution. It is an official attestation of what qualities you possess and what you can bring on board. You can describe yourself with all the ideal adjectives you can find in the latest edition of a dictionary but a superior’s stamp of approval is the icing on the cake. (And who doesn’t like icing?☺)

How about being a living letter? Where every smile you give is a word that tells the world that there is hope no matter how bad things look now. Where an act of kindness to all and sundry is a punctuation mark which announces that extending a helping hand transcends all lines be it religion, race or social status. And where forgiveness is a paragraph that convinces the world that we can live peaceably with all men without having to hold grudges or dig graves of revenge.

People all over the world keep talking about the amazing love of Christ for mankind portrayed by dying on the cross. But this wonderful message is coming out of the lips of people who backbite, gossip, envy, slander their colleagues at school, work, church and wherever people meet. This makes it confusing for the ordinary man to marry the concept of a perfect God and a bunch of deeply flawed people as His followers.

This is why as living epistles, we are to tell the world that our salvation is by grace; we are not perfect but we are striving towards it daily; that we live by faith and not by our circumstances. Whiles the world advises that we use what we have to get what we want out of this life, we use our faith to get where we are destined to be.

We all have a past; scarred with nasty events but we are living testimonies that God can give us beauty for our ashes. No matter how many times we fall, we never run out of second chances with Him. If only we would tell the world with our lives how God has been and continues to be faithful to us in His deeds and unconditional in His love towards us. If only we would be honest and tell the world how uneasy it is sometimes to live right in today’s world so people would not beat themselves down when they fall…

Let our lives be the tablet on which God writes His love letter to the world, our hands reaching out to the falling and our feet rushing to the aid of the helpless. Be a letter of encouragement, hope, patience, self-control, love, peace and joy. Let people testify that there is a God because of you. Be a living epistle.

What Was I Thinking? LVII


“Here is the girl who returns from the dead to take my girlfriend from me,” James announced when he entered the room. We both chuckled.
“Hi James,” I said.
“Aren’t you going to give me a hug so I can tell if you’re alive for real?” He said, opening his arms. I got up and hugged him. It felt good to be back.
“It is you; you’re back.” He looked at me.
“You’ve lost weight. Are you feeling better now?”
“Way better. Seeing you both has been really therapeutic.” We both sat down.
“I’m sorry that my being alive inconveniences you.”
“Don’t be silly; you know I like pulling your legs. You hold a significant part of Karen’s heart and I prefer her heart complete than broken, you know?”
“So you need me to hold her heart together.”
“Not exactly; I was just trying to sound sweet.” They all laughed.
“But all jokes aside, I’m glad to see you alive. I can’t believe your husband kept you away all this while.”
“Uh huh, the perks of marrying a rich obsessive man,” I remarked drily.
“So what’s going to happen? You’re going to resume school next year?”
“I have to. I need to talk to Fitz about this. I don’t know whether he deferred it or something. He always said my ‘situation’ was temporary and that I’d always come back to my life. So I’m hoping he made arrangements about my education.”
“You’re going to see him?” Karen asked.
“I can’t avoid him forever, Karen. He is still my husband and he has my baby. He messed up my life and it is up to him to fix it.”
“And then?”
“I don’t know…I don’t know.”
“Are you going to get a divorce?” James asked. I gave him a sharp look and glanced at Karen only to see a similar expression on her face.
“I don’t know. How will a divorce benefit me right now?”
“Freedom from a rich dangerous psycho? Wait, did I mention dangerous?” Karen said emphatically.
“Um…you also mentioned rich,” I chipped in lamely. She gave me a scolding glare.
“If I divorce him right now, it would defeat my whole purpose of making him the father of the baby and securing a good future for her.”
“Wait, he isn’t the father of your baby?” James asked, puzzled. I arched a brow questioningly at Karen.
“Well, I haven’t told him everything. I thought some things needed to be kept between us,” Karen explained. I glanced at James who still wore a baffled look.
“It’s a long story, James. Maybe one day, we can all sit down and reminisce but…” “I know; I just came to come and see you for myself. Can I get your gals pizza later tonight?”
“Pizza, yay!” Karen said excitedly. James eyed her.
“It’s a treat for the resurrected lady. You just happen to share a room with her.”
I laughed.
“Thanks, James. I’d love that.”
“So I’ll see you both later,” he said and gave each of them a peck. He left the room.
“He is a good guy,” I remarked.
“James…he is a good guy. Don’t lose him, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” Karen said with a smile.
“I have a class in the next hour and a half,” Karen said, checking her watch.
“Go get ready. I’ll sleep the time away.”
“Yeah, you need it. I’m so glad you’re back with us, Em.”
“I am too. I guess I have nine lives, huh?”
“Yeah, so it seems.”

I waited about thirty minutes after Karen had left for lectures before leaving the room. I knew she would bite my head off if she knew where I was going but I needed to do this. Alone.

“Madam!” Rose screamed in excitement when she opened the door. She hugged me much to my surprise.
“My boss said you’d pass by soon but I couldn’t believe it. I…we all thought…”
“I know. It’s a long story. Where’s my baby?”
“She’s in her room. Let me show you.”
“Is he…at home?” I asked cautiously.
“Your husband? No, he left for work.”
“Okay, good.” Rose opened the door and there lay my beautiful baby. I walked towards her crib and smiled at her.
“Hello baby,” I said breathlessly as I took her in her arms.
“I’ll be in the kitchen. Would you want anything?”
“I could whip up something quick for you.”
“Sure, okay. Thanks, Rose.” “You’re welcome, ma’am. And welcome back.”
“Thank you.” She walked away and I kissed lil’ Karen loudly on the cheek.
“How are you, baby? I missed you so much!” She squirmed.
“I wish I could take you with me but we both know this is the best place for you to be.” I kissed her again. My phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and answered it.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m good.”
“You’re with Karen?” “Which one?” He chuckled.
“You know which one.” “How did you know?” “I have my means. Hope you won’t rush out. I wish we could talk.”
“I’m in no rush to leave. I want to spend time with my baby.”
“Okay; I’ll be there within the next hour. Please don’t go.”
“Bye, Fitz,” I said and ended the call.
“Your daddy is acting all sweet now, isn’t he?” I kissed her again.

I watched lil’ Karen sleep and she looked so peaceful. She was just perfect. My mind kept painting pictures of how she’d look like growing up. I was still daydreaming when a voice interrupted me. I looked up.
“Welcome home, Emily.”
“I’m not back, Fitz. I just came to see my baby.” The baby fidgeted. Fitz called Rose and asked her to take the baby to her crib. When she left us, we both sat down.
“Emily, can we put all that has happened behind us?”
“Now that I’m back, what happens to my schooling?” I asked back, totally ignoring his question. He sighed.
“I’ll get you to resume next academic year.”
“Because of what you did, I have to be by myself in school next year! Do you know how hard that will be for me?” “You have me.”
“I meant a student friend and having you is nothing to write home about by the way.” “Ouch.” I rolled my eyes at him.  “What do you want?”
“My space, my freedom, my life.” “Meaning what exactly?” I looked at him.
“You know what I mean, Fitz.”
“You can’t…want that.”
“I can’t?”
“You don’t want that. It’s Karen pushing those thoughts in your head.”
“And maybe I should listen to her. Failing to listen to her the first time is what has landed me in this state right now.”
“What did she say the first time?”
“That it would be a regrettable decision to marry you.”
The words stabbed him sharply. He bit his lower lip.
“And you regret…marrying me?”
“What do you think? Killing me off and locking me away God-knows-where and keeping me away from my baby? Do I need to say anymore?”
“You cheated on me, Em. You pushed me to do this.”
“I asked for your pardon. You said it was behind us. I was ready to make things work with us. Putting me away was not necessary.”
“I felt threatened, okay? The baby out in the world meant having to allow Adam into our lives in a more intimate way and I wasn’t ready for that. You wanted him to be a part of our child’s life in a way I felt uncomfortable with.”
“And dialogue wouldn’t have ironed that out? Did you really have to…?”
“No, I didn’t!” He said, getting up.
“But I did, okay? I wanted you to see me as the only one you should hold on to.” I got up.
“So please make sure you sort out my school issue. I need my first degree.” I started to walk away. He held my hand.
“I missed you,” He said softly. I gave him an odd look.
“You’re talking like I moved out.”
“If you haven’t, spend the night with me.”
“You must be delusional if you thought that was going to happen.”
“How long are you going to crash at Karen’s hostel?”
“As long as I wish! It’s paid for, remember?” “Let me take you back then.”
“Don’t bother, I drove here.”
“Need fuel money?” “No, I don’t. But since you’re in the giving mood, I wouldn’t mind having my debit card back.”
“Sure. Wait here.” I watched him walk away and smiled to myself.
Nothing had really changed. I still had him wrapped around my finger. I held all the cards. It was either he played nice or I reported him to the police and made life ugly for him. I had to be smart about this because a baby was in the picture now and however things would pan out would gravely affect her.

He came back downstairs and handed me two.
“Thank you.”
“Do I get a goodbye hug?”
“No, you don’t.” I walked to the kitchen.
“Thanks for the meal, Rose. It was superb as usual. I really missed your cooking. I’ll be on my way now.”
“When will you move back in?”
“Not too sure when. Take care of my baby.”
“Thanks; bye.”
With a last glance at Fitz, I walked out of the house. My house. I sat in the car and started the engine. Being a young divorced rich woman didn’t sound bad at all. Maybe Karen was right.

I will win her back; Fitz thought when he heard the car drive away. Willingly or not, I will prevail, he determined.

Face-to-face or Over the phone?


A little while ago, our network of relationships was limited to the friends we kept in school, the colleagues we had at work and the family we were born in. Whenever a friend or relative went overseas, it was more or less like he/she is no more part of the network since it was too expensive to call abroad just to check in or chat up.

But thanks to internet evolution and the birth of social media, that era is long behind us. We can communicate with our loved ones in space or even in a submarine and feel like it’s happening face-to-face. That’s how cool the world has become now.

But with the craze of keeping up with the world, we sometimes lose focus on the people close to us. We claim to cherish the moments we get to spend with our loved ones but we spend half of the time on our phones and tabs, checking if someone has commented on our status update or liked our tweets. The outside world’s opinion of us seem to matter more than the conversation we have with a friend or sibling at the ‘now’ moment.


Catching up with family and friends out of town and overseas is important; but so is spending quality time with those living with us/sitting right next to us. It is no doubt that the phone is the new best friend everyone has in this era but let’s not forget that before the phone came in vogue, the people in your life existed and their essence cannot be compared to the number of likes on your Instagram or Facebook post.

It is fun to share the funny posts on social media with friends during conversations and it helps make dialogue richer and diverse but to intermittently ignore them just to laugh to ourselves about some viral post online is just not…not cool. 


The world just felt closer and more personal with the internet and you open yourself up to multiple opportunities, professionally and socially by being active on social media. It is one of the perks of being part of the 21st century and everyone should take advantage of it.

But let’s not filter and thus make shallow the relationships that we have in person. Let’s make them feel special to us whenever we spend time with them; let’s not make our phones their rivals.

Photo credits to Google Images.

Have a good day!

What Was I Thinking? LVI


His tall slender legs carried him swiftly through the corridors of the hospital. Adrenaline pumping, his mind racing, heart racing, and voices in his head screaming: EMILY’S ALIVE! How was that even possible? Karen said it was a long story. Was she mistaken for dead after her childbirth and later found alive in the morgue? Something was wrong.

A nurse led him to the ward and pointed to the bed. Seated next to her was the ever loyal, always-and-forever best friend, Karen. Emily was blessed to have a friend like her. Everyone needed a friend like her. He didn’t know how to approach them; whether to wear a smile of joy or of unbelief. Karen suddenly looked up and their eyes met. She smiled and that eased his anxiety a little bit. She saw the smile on her friend’s smile and followed her gaze.

My heart missed a beat. He was here. A smile crept up my face as he quickened his steps towards me. He got to his knees, took my hand in his and kissed it passionately. My heart gave a satisfied sigh. Adam was here. I turned to look at Karen and she gave me a knowing smile.
“I knew you’d feel much better if you saw him.”
“I do already; thanks, Karen.” I turned my gaze back at Adam whose eyes were filled with tears.
“I can’t believe this.” “I know.” “How…?” “Fitz was tired of sharing her with you so devised a master plan to have her all to himself,” Karen surmised. Karen was always so good at wrapping issues up with just one statement. Don’t I miss her?
“Did he hurt you?” I shook my head, too emotional to speak.
“What she means is not physically but emotionally, well we can see for ourselves,” Karen interpreted. Adam bit his lower lip.
“I’m so sorry for not being able to see through Mr. Daniels’ ruse. We shouldn’t have given up on you just like that.” “It’s not your fault. It’s entirely mine.”
“Called home?” “No. I don’t want my parents to see me like this.”
“How else do you expect them to see for themselves the hell your husband put you through?” Karen countered.
“I agree with Karen,” Adam said. I sighed.
“If I’m going to get my daughter back without any drama, I shouldn’t paint him black to everyone,” I said reasonably. Karen shook her head in opposition but said no more.
“When are you going to be discharged?” “Hopefully tomorrow.” He squeezed my hands and touched my face.
“My muse is back.” I smiled.

Nothing prepared me for the drama at my parents’ house. From the shock of seeing me come back from the dead to the joy displayed, it was almost theatrical. Karen found it difficult restraining herself from bursting out with all the gory details. And I made sure to let her know how grateful I was for her efforts. Then from nowhere, Fitz appeared. Karen almost jumped at him. I had to hold her from doing anything regrettable.
My parents looked confused; not knowing how to receive him. Was he a psycho or just an overly loving husband?
Fitz apologized profusely for the deceit blaming it on his obsessive nature to have me all to himself. And surprisingly, it seemed my parents were buying his story. Wow, he really must have been sorting them out well for them not to act as they should be. Karen was utterly shocked. I gave her the typical I-told-you-so look. He asked to speak with me alone and with a glance at my parents’ faces, agreed to.
“How are you feeling?” he asked in a note of concern when we were outside the house. He handed me my phone.
“What do you think?” I shot back.
“You tried to take your life? Why? Wasn’t I making you comfortable?”
“Are you kidding me? You kept me locked away at God-knows-where and you call that comfortable? It was the only option I had to get away from that hole.”
“I’m sorry I went too far. If you would come home with me, I promise to make things right.”
“Go home with you?” I chuckled. “I don’t know what bubble you live in but what makes you possibly think I’d jump at the idea of going home with you and much more sleep on the same bed with you?” “I know you’d want some space and I’m willing to give you as much as you want but we are a family, Emily. What I did was for you to see me as the only one who should matter to you; it wasn’t my intention to drive you to commit suicide.” “Well, it’s rather unfortunate that your experiment didn’t yield the expected results, isn’t it? Where’s Karen?”
“She’s home.”
“I want her.”
“You can come home and have her all you want.”
“Meaning?” He sighed.
“You’re not going to keep her away from me, are you?”
“I’m saying, if you want to see our daughter, then come home and see her,” he said finally. He walked back inside the house. Was he serious?

After handing my parents a fat envelope, he asked to leave.
“Won’t you take your wife along?” my mum asked.
“She wants to spend some time with her friend,” he said, referring to the almost-exploding Karen.
“Don’t you want to spend some time with your daughter?” my dad asked. I glanced at him and then at Fitz. There was so much I wanted to say but thought to bite my cheek instead.
“Whenever she’s ready, she will come,” Fitz said confidently. The driver came in and whispered something to him and handed him a car key. He walked over to me and handed it over.
“I figured you’d need it,” he said. I stared back, not taking the key dangling in front of me. Karen got up and took it.
“Thank you. I hope the tank is filled,” Karen said.
“It is. If you need anything else, let me know.
“I want my baby,” I said, almost breaking down into tears.
“You know where to find her.” He walked out.
“Don’t be stubborn, Emily. Marriage is difficult. It has its ups and downs. You’re lucky to have such a rich man going all crazy over you. Go with him already!” My mum’s harsh voice rang. I couldn’t hold my tears any more.
“Let’s go,” Karen urged. My parents looked on oddly as we walked out of the house.
“I can’t believe they are not bothered about being kidnapped for 6 months!”
“Money kills reasoning, it seems.” Karen unlocked the car doors and we hopped in.
She started the engine.
“The tank is filled. Sweet,” Karen said.
“Do you think I should go home?” I asked. She stared at me as if I had just spoken Swahili.
“I have to if I want to see my baby.”
“Are you implying this sham of a marriage is back on play?”
“Were you thinking we were going to get a divorce?”
“Weren’t you?”
“I don’t know…I haven’t really thought about it. If I pursue that, I’ll end up with nothing!” “Okay; maybe we need to talk about it with cooler heads. Fitz is a monster and going back to him is another way of telling the world that you really want to die.”
I sighed. I was out of the frying pan and I didn’t want to end up in the fire. But what other choice did I have?

What Was I Thinking? XLV


“It’s not what you think…” Fitz began lamely. That sparked Karen off as she stood up with her hands still holding on to Emily’s hands for dear life.
“You have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking right now, Fitz,” she said, spewing his name in disdain.
“Listen to me…” “I have nothing to say to you right now; all my concerns will be addressed to the police.” “No, you can’t.”
“Oh I can’t? Why, are you going to stop me by stealing me away and telling the whole world that I accidentally died? It seems to be your latest specialty.”
“Karen, please…”
“Get out!” Karen shouted, drawing attention to the others around. Karen looked down when she felt her hand being squeezed.
“Emily?” I opened my eyes weakly. It was all blurry at first but when they began to focus, my heart leaped when they recognized Karen.
“Thank God!” Karen said excitedly.
“I need a doctor over here!”
“Emily…” I turned towards the male voice. He drew nearer and I flinched.
“Don’t you touch her, you sociopath!”
“Emily, are you okay?”
“Security!” Karen shouted.
“Give me…”
“I’ll leave, Karen; let me hear what she wants to say,” Fitz pleaded. He looked at me with pitiful eyes.
“Give me my baby,” I said faintly. He said nothing and glanced at Karen.
“I think I’ll give you two some time to catch up. Don’t worry about the bill; I’ll take care of it.” He turned and started walking away.
“Oh, we weren’t worried at all,” Karen spat at his back. She sat down and held my hand with both of hers.
“I can’t believe my eyes. I can’t believe what you’ve been through. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“Shush…I’m happy the plan worked.” “What plan?” “The plan to get me out of the prison he created for me. One of his workers helped me.” “So it wasn’t really a suicide attempt?” Karen said hopefully. I nodded. She sighed in relief.
“I knew it! I knew you loved yourself too much to give up on life.” I chuckled and so did she.
“How’s the world without me?”
“Empty and boring. James wouldn’t believe this,” Karen said excitedly.
“Yeah, coming back from the dead to take away his girlfriend. Classic me, right?” I said. Karen laughed. Tears filled her eyes.
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you again, Em. We both need to go thank God in church when we leave this place. If I didn’t have the dream earlier today…”
“Yeah, no argument there. I know I haven’t been a perfect girl but God still kept me alive. I owe Him one.” “You owe Him all!” Karen corrected. I smiled and nodded in agreement.
“I can’t wait to see my baby.” Then a sudden fear gripped my heart.
“You don’t think Fitz is going to take my baby from me, do you?”
“I doubt he will. He has no right to.”
“Fitz is powerful, Karen. He is capable of anything…as long as he thinks it.”
“Let’s not worry ourselves about that, okay? Let’s get out of here and go home. I’m sure your parents would be shocked to see you.” “Yeah maybe or just disappointed.” “What do you mean?” “Apparently, Fitz has been giving them monthly allowance to compensate them for my loss. If I’m alive, then it means the allowance would stop flowing. Something tells me that won’t amuse my mother.”
“Come on, are you implying your mother would choose some bucks over her only daughter?” “I’m saying I wouldn’t be surprised if she chastises me for leaving the comfort of safe haven provided by my generous husband. She can be weird like that.”
“Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out.”
“How’s school?”
“Hmm…going through the motions.” “And…how’s…?” I hesitated.  “Adam? I have no idea, Em. He’s moved on apparently. It’s been a while since I heard from him personally or even on the airwaves.”
“Do you think we should…?” Karen gave me one of her classic ‘don’t-you-dare’ looks which I had missed so much. I swallowed.
“We have bigger things to sort out than you reconciling with your lover, Em. Please consider the priorities here.”
“Okay but when we’re done…” “Whatever you want to do after that, I’ll personally arrange it. Does that make you feel better?” Karen said. I nodded with a girlish smile.
“Good.” A doctor approached us.
“Good to have you back,” he said with a warm smile.
“It’s good to be back,” I responded.

Adam stopped by Fitz’s residence to see his baby. Fitz allowed him to do so anytime he wanted to but since Emily’s passing, the custody issue was never brought up. He didn’t have the strength to pursue it…not alone anyway. He missed Emily but he knew he had to accept what had happened and move on.
Rose let him in and brought lil’ Karen to him. As he sat playing with and admiring the little being, his phone beeped. A text message from Karen. That’s strange, he thought as he opened it.
“Don’t freak out and if you’re holding something valuable, put it down before you drop it.” He looked at lil’ Karen, wondering how he could manage whatever news was following without dropping his baby.
Another text. “Emily’s alive.” HUH?! He almost dropped lil’ Karen. He held her tighter and found his breath coming short. The hand holding the phone started trembling.

The door opened and Fitz stormed in. Adam stood. Fitz paused when he saw him.
“I…I…came to see how she was doing.” He didn’t know why he was stammering.
Fitz walked over to him and took the baby from him.
“That’s okay but I want some time alone with her right now so…” “Yeah, I’ll be on my way. Thanks, Mr. Daniels.” “We have a meeting in two days’ time…” “Yeah, I’ll be there,” Adam said hastily and walked out of the house.
Adam’s head was spinning. Was it a prank? This joke was too expensive. Besides, he wasn’t on such cool terms with Karen anyway. He called her number.

Fitz stared at the beautiful baby.
“I love you, Karen. I love your mother too. I wish you both could believe me. It’s just that I wanted her…I wanted both of you…all to myself. I know that sounds selfish but I love you both too much to share you with anyone…even if that person is your real father.” He kissed the baby’s forehead.
“If I can’t hold on to your mother any longer, I’m not going to let you go. You’re the last piece that holds my life together. If I lose you, I’m done and I’m not ready for that just yet,” Fitz said. Lil’ Karen yawned.
“I can’t lose you too,” he said determinedly.

What Was I Thinking? LIV


“Help me!”
Karen woke up with a start. Her heart was pounding like she had just ran a marathon and her body was soaked with sweat. She got out of bed and entered the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and stared at herself in the mirror. Images of the disturbing dream flashed in her mind: Emily screaming, reaching out to her, with her baby in her arms.
Emily was dead so why was she still dreaming about her? It had been a while since she saw her in her dream and she thought she was finally at peace with her best friend’s passing. But this dream felt different, urgent and real. What could it mean? Was Fitz mistreating the baby? Was Emily…not dead? That was absurd. She had to see lil’ Karen. She would feel better if she saw how she was faring.
James entered the room just as Karen was hanging up.
“Hey babe,” he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Ready to head out?” “I’m sorry but I have to go and see Em’s baby today.” “Why, is she ill?” “I don’t know; I’m going to find out.” “Is this an emergency? You can always go…” “No, I’m going today, James. I can’t postpone it.”
“What is going on, Karen?”
“I had a very terrifying dream about Emily and her baby.” “I thought those dreams had stopped.” “Yeah, that is why this particular one has rattled me. It felt very real and urgent. I need to see the baby.” “Do you need me to come with you?” “Nah, I can take care of this on my own. I’ll call you when anything comes up.” “Okay, take care,” he said after giving her a hug. He walked out.

Fitz sighed irritably. He had to attend a meeting but Karen wanted to see the baby. He had been putting it off for some time now and he didn’t want to raise any suspicions but doing that one more time. He hadn’t gone to see Emily for two weeks now. It wasn’t intentional for him to keep the baby from her for this long but his schedule has been super busy lately. He would go and see her after he was done with the day’s work.

He glanced at Emily’s still body at the back seat. He didn’t have much time. He stepped hard on the accelerator. He took out his phone to call his boss.

Karen stood in front of Fitz’s house and sighed. She rang the bell and waited. The house help opened the door about a minute later.
“Hello.” “Hello, Miss. Please come in.” She entered and led her to the living room.
“Please make yourself comfortable. Care for a drink?” “I’m good, thanks. Please let your boss know that I’m here.” “I will.” Karen sat. She looked around. Nothing much had changed in the house except for Emily’s bright presence. She suddenly missed her best friend.
The phone began to ring. She looked around expecting the help to come and pick it up. It kept ringing. It got sent to voicemail.
“Boss, something happened. Your wife…she tried to kill herself. She must have drunk something and she slashed her wrist too. I’m rushing her to the O.M. General Hospital. Please come immediately.” The line went dead.
Karen blinked hard. Was she imagining it? Fitz had remarried? So soon? And she just attempted suicide? Or was it….? Her dream flashed in her mind’s eye. She gasped. Was it Emily? But she was there when she was being lowered into the ground. Then who was it?
She looked around. No one was coming. She got up. Her heart was pounding again. Something was urging her to rush to the hospital. She didn’t even know where the hospital was. But she had to find the place…at all cost. Who knows, it could be…. She rushed out of the house.
“He’ll be with you shortly….” She looked around.
“Where could she have gone?”
Fitz walked in with lil’ Karen in his arms. The help looked at him.
“She’s gone, sir.” “Gone, what do you mean, gone?” “She sat here waiting when I walked out. When I walked back in, she wasn’t here.” “That’s strange. Let me call her,” Fitz said.

Karen googled the location of the hospital as the taxi crawled through the traffic. She sucked her teeth in frustration. She wished James had come along. He was very good at finding his way around town avoiding traffic.
Who was she expecting to see at the hospital? The new wife Fitz has that no one knows about or her best friend known to be dead to the world? She didn’t know and she was nervous about it. The lights turned green and Karen sighed in relief.
Her phone rang. It was Fitz calling. To pick up or not to pick up? She decided against the former.

Fitz stared at his phone in disbelief. He had postponed his meeting because of Karen and now she had walked out without seeing the baby at all. He shook his head. Silly girl, he chided mentally.
“Auntie couldn’t meet you after all; but I’ll take you to meet your mother, okay? I know you miss her. I miss her too. I hope she’ll come to her senses soon so we can be a family again,” Fitz said to a clueless Karen who only stared back in return. She touched his face and he smiled. Beautiful baby, he thought.
The phone rang. He took it.
“Hello.” “Sir, it’s your wife.” Fitz’s heart sank.
“What happened?” “She…she tried to hurt herself, sir. I found her in the room passed out with a slashed wrist. I’ve rushed her to the…” “What?! How did she even come into contact with a sharp object in the first place?” “I have no idea sir. She’s at the O…” “I know the place. I’m on my way.” He put the phone down.
“Rose!” She came in. He gave her the baby.
“I’ll be back. Take care of her.” He grabbed his car key and rushed out of the house.

Karen got out of the taxi and entered the hospital. She looked around, not knowing where to turn or who to inquire. The ER sounded like a good place to start.
She met a nurse and greeted him.
“Um…my friend was brought here not so long ago. She came in with a slashed wrist…” “Yeah, she has been stabilized. Are you family?” “Her best friend. Please let me see her.” He led her to the ward.
God, don’t let it be…she stopped herself. If it wasn’t Emily then it meant she was really dead and whoever was lying there was none of her business. If it were Emily, then it meant….
“Here she is.” Karen stopped cold in her tracks. The nurse glanced at her. Tears fell on her cheeks.
“Are you okay?” She couldn’t nod nor say anything. She took slow steady steps towards the bed where a depressed version of her best friend lay. She knelt by her bed and took her hand in hers. She broke into tears.
“I’ll excuse myself,” the nurse said and walked away.
“I’m sorry for believing that you were really dead.” She suddenly felt grateful for the dream she had earlier. When she had exhausted her tears, she sat down beside Emily’s bed, still holding her hand. She couldn’t wait for Emily to open her eyes.
She wondered in dread what she had been through these past months for her to get to the point of ending her life. Fitz was a monster and he’d definitely pay for this cruelty.
“She’s here, boss.” Karen heard and lifted her head.
Fitz froze. Karen gave him a cold smile.
“So it seems you’re not a widower after all, Fitz Daniels.”
He cursed himself for being caught.

What Was I Thinking? LIII


Staring at myself in the mirror, I realized how emaciated I had become. Glancing at my image made my eyes hurt. I was now a faint shadow of who I used to be. My eyes were puffed up, sore from the crying that has become my sleeping companion for some time now. Trying to recall the last time I smiled proved to be almost impossible now.
I sighed. Another morning. Another day. I had lost track of how long I have been here. All I could do was think of how to get out of this hellhole and each thought ended with a dead-end. I slumped down on the bed and began to wonder how everyone was faring. My mum and dad, Karen and even Adam.
If Fitz was telling the truth about his monthly allowance to her mother, was it really all she cared about?  I guess I inherited my love of money from her. Did Karen still think of her and hope that she was alive? Did Adam still think of her when writing his songs or had he found another pretty girl to be his muse already?
Life still went on; with or without me. The world did not end when my life did; such a painful hindsight to have. If I could turn back the hands of time…where would I want to start all over? I still had no idea.
It has been two days since I had seen lil’ Karen and I had missed her greatly. That was Fitz’s new strategy to weaken my resolve and it was more than efficient. I felt my air getting caught in the throat as if I was being strangled. Even if I could run right now, I couldn’t leave my daughter behind and Fitz knew that.
Father, have mercy on your poor child, I prayed helplessly.
The door opened and I looked up. It was that man who probably lived in the house but always avoided eye contact with me.
“Oh I’m sorry…didn’t know…”
“It’s okay; come on in.” He entered reluctantly.
“Did your boss tell you when he would be coming back?”
He looked at me oddly as if I should know. Well obviously, I didn’t.
“He didn’t say. He said he had some business to take care of and that he’d be back soon.” I nodded.
“May I please…use your phone?” He sighed.
“I’m sorry ma’am but I can’t do that. He gave me strict orders not to.”
I nodded, trying to hold back my morning tears.
“You really want to leave this place?”
“I really do.  I’m not supposed to be here. He…” He stopped me by raising his hand.
“I really do not want to know what is going on between you and my boss because I don’t want to be involved. But I can help you. The only problem is, it’s a bit…radical.” “What do you mean, radical?” “How far are you willing to go to get out of here?” “All the way. I just…wish I had my baby here with me.” “Well, it is good she’s not here…considering what I have in mind.” I looked at him cautiously. What exactly did he have in mind?
“You can only leave this house on the basis of necessity.” Okay…where was he going with this?
“You have to be very ill or best to say dying.” I arched a brow. He was suggesting a suicide attempt, right? I was desperate to get out but what if something went wrong?
I blinked.  I hesitated a moment to let it sink in.
“Okay…what…what do you have in mind?” “I could lace your drink with a strong sedative. It could make you look like you’re dying.” “And I wouldn’t really?” “No…If you get to a hospital in time…”
“If?” I asked, not convinced.
“It’s a risk, I know but it’s yours to take. You can continue to live here, having tears for breakfast and supper or you can choose to take a chance. What is it going to be?” Was he expecting me to come up with a decision right now?
“It sounds like you’ve had it in mind for quite a while,” I remarked, trying to buy myself some more time to think.
“I can see how you’re suffering here. I just want to help you out of here.” “Thanks.” He nodded and left the room. I sat on my bed.
My mind was racing. I began to chew on my fingernails nervously. If I could call Karen before being rushed to the hospital, then she’d find me before Fitz did. If the reverse happened, then I was doomed forever. I’d never see the light of day for sure.
But if this plan succeeded, Fitz would still have my baby and my gut told me he wouldn’t let go of her without a fight. But telling the world about what he did to me would give me the support to get her back. This was selfish, I knew but it was my best option. My only option, to be precise. Sorry baby, but mummy’s got to do this.
With deep determination, I got up and opened the door. Our eyes met and with a curt nod, he walked off. I walked back to the bed and felt my heart beating. Was I going crazy? Was I ready to gamble with my life just so I could get away?
Before I got the chance to change my mind, he had appeared in my room with a glass of water. He handed it to me and I found my fingers shaking. It took a stern look from him to me to gather up the courage to bring the glass to my lips.
“Don’t worry; I have my phone in hand. I’ll take you to the hospital myself and call your husband immediately.”
I nodded, whiles forcing the chilled water down my throat. I handed the half empty glass to him and waited for all hell to break lose.
“It will all be over soon.” Well, I had to see about that, right?
His drug started to kick in and I felt faint.
“Please…call him and get me out of here,” I said with much difficulty.
“We need to make this look more convincing.”
“Huh?” I could hardly keep my eyes open now. My drowsy eyes popped open when I saw him pull out a pocket knife. He held my wrists. I gasped at what he was going to do.
“What are you trying to do?” “Do you trust me?” He asked, looking at me intently. I swallowed. I didn’t but saying the wrong thing to someone with a knife didn’t sound like a smart idea.
“He has to believe it is an emergency, ma’am. I promise I won’t cut too deep.” I stared at my wrists. I have never been a big fan of scars so I had always made sure to keep my body ‘without blemish’ as much as possible. But having a perfect skin stuck in this hole was worse. I nodded, regretting it immediately. I bit down on my lower lip when I felt the sharp metal slash my wrist.
Oh God, what have I done? How could I entrust my life into the hands of a stranger who never gave me much of a smile before? Was my life going to end like this?
He stood back and watched me.  What was he staring at me for?! I wanted to shout at him but I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
“Please…please…don’t let me die…” I pleaded in faint tones as I faded away into oblivion.

Who Did She Get Married To?


Most women wonder why men lose interest in them after marriage. Why do our eyes wander off to find the younger versions of our partners whiles they are working their heads off to support us at home? It is not that we don’t appreciate what they do for us; sometimes it seems they kind of miss the essentials after we have said the magic two words.

Before the nuptials, all she was concerned about was looking good and making me happy. I felt like I was on cloud nine. To have such an amazing woman to have my pleasure at heart felt like heaven on earth. But after we moved in together as a couple, her priorities shifted from pleasing me to taking care of the home. Not that I don’t value her home management skills, it just feels like she cares more about the house than she does me.

Whenever I crave for some quality time together, she is more concerned about cleaning the house or stocking the fridge with every food imaginable. The weekends that we have to ourselves, she uses to run around the house, doing laundry, buzzing around as if passing the test for homemaking 101 was all that mattered.


I know finding a wife is a good thing and all and I thank God for her good heart but why is she taking care of everything concerning me except me? Is it selfish of me to want more of her despite her amazing efforts to make me the most enviable husband on earth?     
I like a clean home, with well-dressed and behaved children but I also want my wife, not just a homemaker. I need her to consider talking and spending time with me as an equal priority to cooking dinner and keeping the house sparkling clean. And when she’s not busy with home duties, then she is attending to leftover work from the  office.

Photo credits to Google Images.

So I guess it is not our fault if we tend to find younger ladies with their perfect hair and nails done appealing and sometimes tempting to be with.  They remind us of how fun our pre-marital days used to be and for the weak-willed men, find themselves cheating eventually.

So kindly help me tell my wife that before the children were, I was and it is I she married and not the house. I love her greatly and I can’t overstate how transformed she has made my life but could she spare some time to take care of herself for me? I don’t have to Google through my mental archives to remind myself how beautiful and attractive my wife used to be. Even though the times have changed and she is a mother and homemaker now, she remains my wife and I need to see her that way.

From a concerned brother and husband,

Re-created, not Reformed


The world prescribes behaviour modification approaches and rehabilitation to help correct certain socially deviant behaviours. This is because we are made to believe that we are born with a clean slate and that whatever attitudes we pick up is due to contact with the immediate environment one finds himself in. Thus, whatever attitude learned can be unlearned.

So people pay so much to check themselves in to such centres and they come out seemingly reformed only to ‘catch the flu’ again. So the question is, is the ‘world’ the problem or is it that of the nature of man himself?

Man is born flawed and none of the ideal parenting techniques or world-acclaimed ‘good life attitudes’ can fix that. There is a limit to what humans can do to stay clean; but to feel utterly complete is out of our hands. The world propagates that we are of our own so whatever peace or motivation we need to move on ahead in this life but what possible comfort could one draw out from an empty soul who is frantically searching for closure itself?

Reformed persons can fall into relapse again but to be recreated is to be born anew. The old nature is gone; the new is here to stay. Recovering alcoholics for instance may boast of months and even years of turning sober but without the transforming power of God, it is most likely they would find themselves back on the bottle in the end. So why spend so much money and resources on just getting a quick fix and a temporary solution instead of a permanent resolution without paying a dime for it?

Photo credits to Google Images.

Every automobile brand has its unique parts. Trying to replace defected parts with those of another brand though may seem harmless at first may cost you more in the end. Man was born to seek after God, his creator. Only He can satisfy the yearnings of the soul without having to search for supplementary help elsewhere. Christ is our Rock of Ages, all other things are just sinking sands.

Reformation is expensive and short-lived; recreation is absolutely free and eternal.  Your soul is eternal; why not give it an assurance worth its lifespan instead of gambling it with momentary contentment? Your life is too precious for that.

It is not too late to make a turnaround; the One who died for you is still waiting to take you in. Give your soul an assurance beyond what this world can offer; after all, the world can’t help you when you are gone.

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