What Was I Thinking?

Photo credits to Google Images.

It is often said that you never appreciate the value of something or someone until you have lost it or him/her. You miss your pet the most when it has gone missing or has died. The mind comes up with all the things that could have done with an item after it has been misplaced. Sometimes we let things slip through our fingers just so as to have something else we desire. And after we have whatever we wanted in our grasp, we realize what a mistake we have made.

For me, it wasn’t swapping a nice guy for a seemingly “nicer” dude. I gave up my youth and the perks of the single life for an early marriage-and not with the love of my life; but with who promised and looked capable of giving me a paradise-kind of life. At that point in time, I didn’t think of how much that decision would cost me- I thought the price was worth the gain. Until…

Well, this is my story.

I remember the day so well-the day I sold my freedom. I remember my friends being all excited for me as they went about dressing me up. All but Karen. As I smiled admiringly at my image in the mirror, I saw her absent-minded face. I turned and called her. She blinked as her eyes met mine.

“Are you okay, huh? Your mind seems far away.” She sighed as she sat next to me and looked at me.

“Are you really sure of what you’re getting yourself into? It is not too late to call it off, you know?”

But it was too late for a turnaround now. Is she kidding me? After all the bucks he had splashed on me and not forgetting the big show he did at the traditional wedding, how can I not go through with it? Of course it would call for a refund of his expenses at the customary ceremony and knowing my family; that money is far from recollection.

“Of course I know what I’m getting myself into. I’m getting married, Karen; why can’t you be happy for me?”

“You know I always have your best interests at heart. I just feel you’re rushing into this. You don’t even love the guy.”

“I think love is overrated. Yes I may not love him but who cares about that? I fell in love once and you know how that ended. This man respects me and is more than willing to spend every dime of his great fortune on me to keep me by his side. What else can I ask for?” I said.

“And he is fourteen years older than you, Em! You always leave that out.”

“I think age is overrated as well,” I countered with a shrug. “It is a number and judging from what I know about numbers, you can spin it any way you want as long as you work it out,” I said with a wink.

“I know you, Emily. I know how happy you were when you were in love and you may think you can survive without it but you can’t. Sooner or later…”

“I’ll cross the bridge when I get to it. At least Fitz can buy my love with good money. What did that moron do to deserve my love? As long as there is mutual respect and understanding, we are covered.”

Karen sighed when she realized she could not get through to me…in time. Before she could say anything else, my mother burst in with all smiles.

“Oh you look amazing, my dear. You’re going to be the envy of every woman in the church.” I smiled.

And I was. I could see it in the teary but smiling faces of the ladies as I walked up aisle. My father walked proudly beside me with my arm tucked safely under his. My anxiously beating heart calmed down when my dad put my hand in Fitz’s and kissed my cheek.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered. I giggled like a little girl as we turned to face the officiating minister.

Everyone applauded cheerfully after we were introduced to the congregation as Mr. and Mrs. Daniels. All but Karen. Her eyes looked like she was crying inside her. I have not sold myself to slavery for crying out loud, I thought to myself.  How can my best friend be such a buzzkill on my wedding day? I’ll take her out and spoil her a bit and I’m sure she’ll be fine. Maybe a taste of my new found heaven will lighten her up a bit.

She is almost always right about certain life choices I make but she’s definitely wrong about this one, I convinced myself. This handsome mature dude has put the ring on it and I must say, I’m loving it. All other things can wait.

Little did I know…