Well, I think this depends on the personality of the person being asked. The introverted type would prefer a small gathering (family and close friends) for such social functions. Some even resort to having secret ceremonies just so to keep the ‘not-so-significant’ people out. As for the loud and sociable type who want to share their special moments with everyone they have come across, their doors are always open and they will find a way to accommodate everyone.
Weddings are supposed to be happy moments; shared with people who make one’s joy complete. Funerals on the other hand, are occasions to mourn the passing of a dear one. Nowadays, people have chosen to find the brighter side of such a gloomy ceremony: they call it a celebration of life. Some others request that no such ceremony is prepared for them; they prefer to be cremated. The preferences vary.
I’m personally not a fan of large crowds hence my having few friends. If no one showed up at my wedding, it would be probably because I invited no one and even if I did and no one did show up, I’d obviously feel bad about it but I think I might feel worse if no one showed up at my funeral.
But someone would argue that when you die, you’re gone; why would you care if no one showed up to mourn you? How would you even know if someone did or did not make it to your burial ceremony?
It is a fair point made but I think what makes a difference between a much-talked-about funeral ceremony and that of another which no one knew had even taken place is the number of people an individual knew, the influence he had on them and the legacy he left behind.
As it is commonly said, when you are born, you cry whiles the people who welcome you into the world rejoice; so make it a point that when you do leave this world, you smile whiles the people around you cry. You smile because you know you’ve fulfilled your purpose on earth and others cry because they feel they have lost a treasure.
For the number of years that you’re going to be on this earth, there are a lot of people you’re going to meet: some you’d dislike, some who would despise you, some you’d admire, some you’d influence, some who’d appreciate you and influence you. So how on earth won’t I feel worse if no one not even a hater would show up at my funeral even if it is to spite me?
As for a wedding, my joy would be rest in knowing I’m going to spend my life with someone whom I deeply care about, complements me, makes me a better person and would stay by my side throughout the journey of life. As long as he shows up and we promise ‘I do’ to each other, who cares who else did or did not make it to the ceremony?
To not be celebrated after you’re gone means you wouldn’t be remembered in the hearts of others most likely because of something you did against or did not do for someone. That alone proves you didn’t achieve anything worthwhile with the gift of life and that is the very definition of failure to me.
What do you think, what would hurt you the more, no show at your wedding or funeral and why? I’d love to know your thoughts.
Josephine © Amoako 2016