Yep, that is exactly what one Uber driver told me one night on a drive home. I was too exhausted to think much less to have a conversation.
According to him, wives become complacent in catering for them when they know they face no threat of losing their husbands. The moment they realize there is or might be someone else seeing to their needs, they suddenly become aware that they have a territory to protect.
He went on to suggest that, men should have mistresses not for cheating sake per se, but just the impression keeps wives on their toes. I couldn’t believe my ears and unfortunately my mind was on the verge of shutting down that I couldn’t challenge him on his point of view.
I do remember asking him how he would feel if his wife were doing same to him with that kind of intention. He couldn’t submit any reasonable argument to that effect. It is rather unfortunate that some men of today think it is okay to knock women’s heads together just to stroke their egos as being relevant in their lives. Regrettably, most women take the bait and aggressively tear each other down just to take on someone’s name or bear his children.
It’s funny how men who stop treating their wives the way they used to when they were dating expect the women to treat them the same way before they got married. Every action calls for a reaction and so is it with an inaction. You can’t leave the pitch and go and sit on the fence and expect the game to continue. It takes two to tango. If you leave the dancing floor, the best your partner can do is to walk out as well or better yet, find another partner to dance with.
If you believe your spouse needs some stepping up to do, then perhaps so do you. Women are naturally responsive to any deed that triggers their emotional senses. If she’s running low on ‘love gas’, then perhaps it’s time to fill up the tank. Want your wife to submit more? Love her more.
Marriage is a commitment between two people with no need for a third party to keep them on their toes. For those who see being side chicks as a ministry with the aim of destroying marriages, may God have mercy on you.
Dear husbands, it is your responsibility for your wives to feel secure in the marriage; thus it’s uncalled for to make them feel ‘threatened’ about losing their place. The minute you think otherwise, you’re unfit to be anyone’s husband.
© Josephine Amoako 2018