Cheat in Peace


“Men will always cheat.” “Every man cheats.” “No matter what you do, a man will cheat on you…at least once.” These are the statements trumpeted into one’s ears from childhood compelling us to accept this flawed attitude of lack of self-control on the side of men.

Women are led to come to terms with the fact that, it’s in man’s nature to cheat. And when he does, it’s not because he doesn’t love his partner anymore; it’s just because he’s a man.

Hence for centuries, we have been brought up in a double-standard society where men are excused for their unfaithfulness on the basis of their biological makeup whereas women are scorned if they also fall short. You ask why and you hear responses like, “A man doesn’t need to fall in love to sleep with anyone. It is just a need to be satisfied. Beauty and attraction doesn’t play a role. But a woman isn’t wired like that. She develops an emotional connection to whoever she sleeps with so that’s where the betrayal lies. That is why men find it unpardonable when their partners cheat on them. It bruises their ego.”

Whenever I hear these things, I’m torn between feeling repulsed and just shocked. The most unfortunate part is that, the propagation of this ‘gospel of man’s nature’ is done mainly by women. It’s like a way of comforting one another if they get cheated on that it’s not that strange. It happens. It’s the world we live in. You will get over it.
Gradually, women are being oriented to leave their men to ‘cheat in peace.’ They will cheat no matter what you do, right? That’s fine but don’t let me catch you. If I get to find out, then we’ll have a problem because you have disrespected me.

Whaaaat? When Ghanaian actress Joselyn Dumas said something similar on her ‘Keeping it real with Joselyn Dumas’ show on TV, girl, was I shocked or what? I was beyond disappointed. To think that women should only feel ‘disrespected’ when they find out about their partners’ affair is highly unfortunate. If men require women to be faithful to the letter, why should we require any less of them?

This culture of permissiveness for this behavior should not be allowed to continue. We should quit telling our younger sisters and daughters that it is tolerable. The ‘disrespect’ shown is not in finding out, it’s in participating in cheating whether or not one is caught in the act or not.

Women deserve better. This ‘Leave Men to Cheat in Peace Campaign’ should stop. The fact that men are capable of sleeping around devoid of emotions doesn’t make it any less unacceptable. The act is as grievous as the emotional connection. Let’s teach our boys that and strive for parity in terms of moral obligations to each other.

© Josephine Amoako 2018

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32 Comments Add yours

  1. Debs says:

    We just need to stop it. A decent man will not cheat, why then condone the silliness and absurdity of it?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Oh good question!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mbalenhle says:

    It’s generalized opinions like ‘all men cheat’ that make me cringe so much. This allows men to disrespect women and not even feel bad about it. And what angers me the most is that usually when a man cheats, the woman confronts the other woman that her man cheated with – I see no logic there. It’s quite saddening really. This is such a lovely post, it really got me thinking

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      I know, right? As if the man is the victim in the affair…smh

      Liked by 1 person

  3. LightWriters says:

    excellent post, Josey! I like that Jesus calls men to love women as He loves His church…and when they do, what an awesome true love opportunity can take place, and mutual honouring and respect. We can’t achieve this on our own, it requires the work of the Holy Spirit and fruit of the Spirit, who helps us to love with God’s great love.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Word! I’m not even going to defend my brothers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Haha…thank you!

      Like

  5. Miti Pius says:

    I think that both men and women are prone to cheating, it’s the patriarchal setting that is to be blamed for the,’men will always cheat.’

    That being said, I think that monogamy is very unrealistic to both men and women. Everyone should be able to have as many partners as they wish regardless of their gender. So, the real problem here is assuming that a monogamous relationship is the best relationship. No?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Interesting argument. You really think monogamy is unrealistic?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Miti Pius says:

        Monogamy is only ideal but almost impossible.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. joseyphina says:

        How is it impossible when a good number of men have succeeded in making it work?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Miti Pius says:

        When you say,”make it work,” you prove the fact that it is almost impossible, It is so hard that you have to “make it work.”

        Also, why is that whenever there’s a debate on monogamy, there’s a reference to only men and not women? Women too find monogamy unrealistic but society only points out men as the only ones failing monogamy.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. joseyphina says:

        When I mentioned ‘make it work’ it was because it is not easy but definitely doable. And I don’t agree with you that women find monogamy unrealistic.

        Like

  6. Kaycee says:

    Lol… True talk

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ufuomaee says:

    This is awesome! I want to reblog it, but I don’t see the option to. You’ve said eveything I think on the matter.

    Cheers, Ufuomaee.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Ufuomae. Maybe you can try opening it in your browser. Perhaps you can reblog from there. Cheers

      Like

      1. Ufuomaee says:

        I was using my browser dear… I saw the link on Facebook. Will try a different browser.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. joseyphina says:

        Oh ok. Let me know if it works.

        Like

  8. Ufuomaee says:

    Reblogged this on Grace and Truth and commented:
    I concur!!! Well said, Josey!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for the reblog, Ufuomaee!

      Like

  9. M'afua Awo Twumwaah says:

    👏 👏 👏

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Tee says:

    This is truly beautiful.

    I debunk this myth that its a masculine thing to cheat. Not all men cheat. howbeit some people have that ideology especially ladies.

    Truly said, if he has the right to cheat so does the woman. what is good for the geese is god for the gander

    i am of the opinion that ONE WOMAN IS ENOUGH….

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Wow! I must be blessed because I grew up with the knowledge that it’s not good for either sex to cheat. I never heard the double-standard until as an adult, and it came from a male chauvinist. In other words, I didn’t give it much credence.

    It’s wrong. Period.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Very well said, Barbara.

      Like

  12. Truth is what you just wrote about here, it isn’t whispered only to the girl child but it’s also infused, forced and engraved into the mind of small boys by the society. Both men and females responsible. The same society condemning the behavior is the same society ensuring the continuity of it. Raise your children properly and decades down the line this will be a tale but conform to bad cultures then the kids will as damaged as their fathers, grandfather’s and great grand fathers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Amen to that! We all need to do better.

      Like

  13. Mummanopoly says:

    Yes girl!! I love this post!! There should be no way a man should be allowed to cheat and women need to up their standards and know their worth! We are in control of our happiness and destiny. I see so many women accept cheating boyfriends and husbands like they are the only men left on the planet of because of children or fear of ending a relationship! Girl! I could talk for days on this! It’s just unacceptable basically! 💛👌🏾 lovely post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Glad you enjoyed the post!

      Liked by 1 person

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