Would You Rather #79: Marry and Divorce Every Time or Never Marry at All? 


Marriage is no child’s play, every couple will tell you. It takes the emotionally intelligent and mature, committed and enduring pair to make it work against all odds. Some have entered and exited with bitterness and regret summing up the experience; some have entered and exited but with some fond memories while it lasted and many others have entered and have stayed not because it was easy-peasy because they saw each hurdle as a temporary phase and not a permanent destination and so handled it as such. I listen to some elderly couples and the common thing they all say is that, the experiences both good and bad have shaped them and brought them much closer. 

 Our grandparents and generations before them hardly divorced, probably because they could marry more than one so there was no need to leave one for the other. It didn’t make life any easier for our grannies back then but someway somehow, they died either married or widowed. But stemming down from our parents’ generation to ours, divorce is growing alarmingly rampant. 

The fear of facing society’s disapproval used to be a deterrent to an extent but not anymore. News of divorce doesn’t come as a shock anymore. It’s like we subconsciously prepare for the news and unconsciously wait for it. 

People marry for various reasons and people divorce for diverse reasons as well, some of them you might find interesting or even amusing. Some people were unfortunate to have ‘smelled pepper’ in their first marriages and after managing to leave in one piece, have sworn never to venture into it again. Others, after having witnessed the marriages of those close to them fall on rocks, especially their parents, are skeptical of taking the step for fear of history repeating itself. 

I’m not a fan of divorce but I won’t deny myself marriage for fear that it would end in one.  You can never tell if something will work out or not unless you try.  However, marriage isn’t a game of trial and error where you enter to ‘test the waters.’ Some people would argue that those who are not committed to make their marriages work take the easy way out and call it quits. You may never know the back story to why they arrived at the decision and whether you wouldn’t have made that same decision if you were in their shoes. Besides, some people ‘stay’ married but have called it quits in their hearts. They live together because of one reason or the other but each person lives his/her life as he/she deems fit. 

A part of me can’t help but admire people who may have suffered in one marriage and have found the strength and courage to tie the knot with someone else later. It shows that although they had an unpleasant experience the first or first couple of times, they believe that they have another chance of feeling loved and belonged and enjoy the pleasure of companionship.

Marriage may not be easy, and staying single is not either. There is a reason why they say, two heads are better are one and no one is an island. We get to that stage in life that we need someone to lean on. These days, people have found ways to form ties with others without necessarily having to commit under the covenant of matrimony. I’ll reserve my comments on that. But at the end, it’s quite obvious that we all need each other. 

Unless God wills it otherwise, I do intend to marry and live out His purpose through it and not have an exit plan whenever troubles stare me hard in the face. I would rather marry and pray for God’s grace to help me through as well as do my part to see it succeed than not marry at all.

What about you? What would you rather do and why? Kindly share your thoughts.

© Josephine Amoako 2017

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Marry and work through instead of leave.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Nice one! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ganzymalgwi says:

    I love marriage and hate divorce.
    But to this question I will rather marry, but I will make it work for me.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Marriage is a good thing only if the two partners are compatible and love very much each other, so the question is tricky and it would depend on situation.But people should marry only if they know and love the person .

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      I agree. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Payal.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Kadali says:

    swapping places

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Working on it👍

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Kadali says:

        yeeeeeeeeeee

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Jo Smith says:

    I’d rather never marry, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t spend my life with someone who I love. You don’t have to always marry them. If you really loved that person to marry them, you probably wouldn’t divorce.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmmm… Debatable but I get your point. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jo.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Debs says:

    If I’m really to choose from your question above, then I’d stay unmarried than having to divorce every time. Divorce is really not a cool thing just the way heartbreak leaves one broken…

    I really love your choice of word here “A part of me can’t help but admire people who may have suffered in one marriage and have found the strength and courage to tie the knot with someone else later. It shows that although they had an unpleasant experience the first or first couple of times, they believe that they have another chance of feeling loved and belonged and enjoy the pleasure of companionship.”

    This really do mean a lot. And I really wish we can have that time when people will get married and really stay happily married and not have the choice of leaving.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for reading, Debs and it is my prayer as well, for people to get and stay married.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Naana says:

    Marriage is another teaching and learning avenue for people who decide to enter into it. It takes Commitment, forgiveness, humility and how emotionally intelligent you are. It’s a bittersweet ride but God got us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Amen to that! Thanks for sharing your thoughts ☺

      Liked by 1 person

  8. gracelarbi says:

    Well said! And indeed marriage like life is different strokes for different folks, as a friend always puts it!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I have never been married before. But I’d choose being loved and loving over being alone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Good choice. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Francis

      Like

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