What are the qualities you look out for in a partner? I’m sure you’ve run out of the number of times you’ve come across this question from people, books or online. Does it ever grow old? As long as generations come and go with young people meeting each other and falling in love, perhaps no. One thing I’ve realized with this question is that, the answers change over time. The answers you provide get ‘updated’ the next time you revisit the question due to what you may have been exposed to.
It’s one of the critical questions everyone would ask him/herself at one point in time. Apart from the looks and pocket status, some consider character and/or personality. Whiles some prefer confident persons who can hold their own and be in charge when the situation demands it, others would go for the opposite end of the spectrum-those emotionally dependent and thus easy to manipulate to one’s will. Everyone has got choices.
Everything is at its best when it’s balanced, isn’t it? But when the scale is tipped unevenly, then there’s a problem. As much as ladies would like to have a confident man by their side, I doubt many of them would like the cocky type for a partner. You know the type of people who show off their confidence unnecessarily and even go ahead to portray their ignorance? So annoying and embarrassing, isn’t it?
How do you tell your ‘I-know-it-all’ lover to tone it down a bit?
On the flipside, I’m pretty sure every guy loves to compliment his lady and watch the happy smile appear and stay on her face. But there’s the case where she has low self-esteem and with every moment with her, you have to ‘butter her up’ to make her feel good about herself. As much as guys love to take the lead, they also appreciate women with a mind of their own who would chip in from time to time so they can connect on another level apart from the lovey dovey moments. But when you are stuck with someone who seems not to think for herself but just goes with everything you say, it would get pretty boring at some point, right?
Cocky people can be unbearable to deal with. Being pushy, choosing public places to correct you and constantly reminding you how good it was for you to have met him…how long can one stand that? Being with someone with low esteem has its challenges as well. Always having to convince a partner who believes doesn’t deserve you that she’s special could eventually dry out the feelings. If it is coupled with feelings of insecurity on her side, having to explain that the person you were with was just a friend or colleague at work and nothing else could be emotionally draining.
No matter how hard you try, you will never find a perfect person because there is none. Everyone has his flaws; some well packaged than others. But as a proverb in my local dialect goes, ‘Character is like pregnancy; it will definitely reveal itself.’
The end of the matter is, know thyself. Know what you can live with and what you can’t and choose accordingly. Both characters are not suitable for me so I find it quite hard to choose.
What about you? Which type would you rather date and why? I’d love to read your thoughts!
© Josephine Amoako 2017
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