Choristically Incorrect 


(c) blog.gospelflava.com

Charlotte watched the choir ministering on the pulpit keenly. She tapped her feet along with the drummer. The song leader had a smooth voice. He wasn’t bad looking either. Her eyes wandered over the feet of the singers and scowled. What were they wearing? Some of the ladies’ clothes looked so unflattering on their bodies it bothered her. They really need a makeover, Charlotte thought. Some of them looked bored singing. As if they were yawning. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

She looked around at the congregation. It was a fairly big church. A good number of the members were well-dressed. But why wasn’t it reflecting on the pulpit? Maybe they needed someone to show them the fashion light.

Maybe she should join. She had the voice. Everyone said so. She thought of her gold heels she had bought not too long ago. The pulpit would be the best place to outdoor them. They would sparkle like the stars of the night. Combined with her amazing voice, she would shift the atmosphere and bring the congregation on their feet and their hands in the air. She smiled. She was going to be a star.

                                 *

After church service, she walked up to the choir director.

“Hi I’m Charlotte. I was really touched by your ministration today. I really want to serve in the house of God. I believe I can do so by joining your choir.” He smiled.

“That would be great, Charlotte. We need more people to join. Which part do you sing?” “Alto.” “Great. Sing me something.” She sang a few lines from Israel Houghton’s Jesus at a Center song. He clapped.

“Wow. We have a short meeting in a few minutes. Care to join?” “Not at all.” A few minutes later, the choir members gathered around Frank, the choir director.

“Before we start, let me introduce Charlotte. She feels led by the Spirit to join the choir. Please say welcome to her.” Charlotte smiled as they did. She could see the insecure looks on the faces on the female members. Already? You’ve seen nothing yet. If I knew I’d be joining today, I would have really dressed for the occasion. You wait and see, she thought mischievously as she smiled at them.

After the meeting broke up, Frank asked for her number citing that he needed to add it to the choir’s WhatsApp group. But a glint in his eye told her that he had ulterior motives and she was fine with that. If she could win over his heart, her ascension in the choir would be rapid. She wasn’t planning on being in the backup vocals’ group for long. She needed to fix her Peruvian weave soon.

                                   *

Wanting to create a good impression, she arrived at the next chorister’s meeting early. Only Frank and the instrumentalists had reported.

“Good to see you here so early! We need more zealous members in the choir. You’re welcome, Charlotte.” She flashed him a sweet smile as she said her thanks. This was just to seal the deal. Soon, she’d take her sweet time to arrive and they wouldn’t be able to start without her. She was going to be their queen.

Frank reprimanded the choir members especially the ladies for arriving late.

“You think God’s business is a joke? Look at the time you’re coming. Would you arrive at your workplace 45 minutes after official start work time? God have mercy on you. Even Charlotte who just joined us arrived ten minutes before time. This is the kind of attitude God demands from you. How can you expect God to bless you when you are serving Him half-heartedly?” Frank went on and on. The ladies couldn’t help but roll their eyes at Charlotte who was clearly enjoying the attention Frank’s compliments were giving her.

After the pianist said the opening prayer, they started with vocal warm ups. Charlotte sang her best and the others noticed. When they started rehearsing for Sunday’s ministration, Charlotte turned to look at the one beside her who was singing the soprano part. She was singing off-key. Unable to keep it to herself, she told her.

“Excuse me? Who do you think you are? Do you know how long I’ve been in the choir?” she bellowed, clearly offended.

“What’s going on there?” Frank asked.

“She was going off-key and I prompted her. Apparently, she doesn’t like to be corrected.”

“She’s lying!” “Fine. Sing it alone.” “What?”

“Sing that part by yourself and let’s hear you.” She swallowed and with one last deadly look at Charlotte, she started to sing. After a minute, she stopped singing after she realized she had gotten stuck and was going off-key. Charlotte bit her lower lip to keep her from laughing.

“Wow…so you’re the one who’s been messing up Sunday’s ministrations, eh? I sometimes hear something odd but I never suspected you. I thought it was Ama since you were in the choir before I took on this role. Can someone teach her how it should be sang?” Charlotte’s hand shot up.

“Of course. Do the honors.” After she had finished, the members clapped.

“Where have you been all this while? Glorious Choristers, meet your new front liner!”

The admiring looks on the guys’ faces and the unamused looks of the ladies were as contrasting as day and night and she smiled as broadly as she possibly could.

Just before they closed the meeting, Charlotte’s hand shot up.

“What are we wearing for Sunday’s service?”

“The choir’s theme shirt for the year with either skirt or trousers.”

“What you wore three weeks ago? Why not try something new?” 

“We have a system of doing things here. So don’t try to disrupt it,” one of the ladies said, agitated.

Charlotte ignored her and looked at Frank. “You know, one of the things that get people excited to come to church is the music ministration. Apart from the voices they hear, they have to be drawn to what they see on the pulpit. You have to wow the congregation. Look fresh and smart.”

“This isn’t a Beyoncé’s show,” another lady snapped.

“I know; we are doing it for God. That is why we must do more than what the secular artistes do. I respect your system but I believe there’s always room for improvement.” Frank and the other guys nodded.

“You’re very right. Any suggestions?” “We could go with a color code. Any shade of blue, green, red…” 

“Blue sounds cool. What do you say guys? Do you have blue attires?” Charlotte smiled. She was rooting for blue herself. The guys said they did. All the ladies except two said they had either blue blouses or skirts.

“Then blue it is,” Frank said in a tone of finality.

“What about those of us who don’t have?”

“Well since you’re in the minority, I suggest you find something bluish, sister Comfort.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Come in white then. Charlotte, kindly close the meeting with a prayer.”  

“Shall we pray.” They all bowed their heads. Charlotte said the prayer and they responded amen to it. When the members dispersed, Frank approached Charlotte.

“I’m really glad you decided to join us. I really appreciate your inputs. I’ve a good feeling that you’ll help make this choir better.” 

“It would be an honor to serve God in this capacity,” Charlotte said modestly.
As she walked home, Charlotte couldn’t help but hum loudly. She could picture herself rocking the stage in her newly-sown blue dress with her red heels and matching accessories. She was going to feed on bananas like some prescription. She had to prep her voice well for her singing debut.

                                *
On Sunday, Charlotte arrived at the church premises early for Bible Study. She noticed Frank stealing glances at her. She smiled shyly. She glanced at the pulpit. This would soon be her stage to shine. She smiled.

When it was time for ministration, they walked onto the podium. Comfort stood behind one mic in the middle whiles the others stood in groups of two and three. When Comfort noticed Charlotte approaching her, she glared at her giving her the loud message that she wasn’t going to share it with her. Frank saw the exchange and told Comfort to join the others as Charlotte would take her place.

“What?”

“Now.” Comfort huffed as she joined the others. Charlotte stood in the middle behind the mic and flashed the congregation one of her best smiles.

Now let’s get this show started, she thought.

Know of anyone who is choristically incorrect? Share your thoughts on Charlotte’s agenda.

Read the next part here. 

© Josephine Amoako 2016

***Kindly subscribe to my newsletter here. Thanks. ***

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58 Comments Add yours

  1. pappy116 says:

    You lured me from the beginning saaaa then when I thought the story was coming to a conclusion, you took me off guard with this suspense 😃😃😃😃😃

    Liked by 4 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Haha…. Sorry ooo…. Wanted to end it but felt it would be too long. Might post a sequel soon. Glad you enjoyed it ☺

      Liked by 2 people

      1. pappy116 says:

        You have too.😄

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahahahaha Joe♥ you are mean

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Lol… Forgive😂😉

      Like

  3. Ayqube says:

    Lol. I Share the same sentiments as pappy116.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      I know…. So sorry 😅

      Like

  4. fortunate23 says:

    Looool, Reading this, i was laughing all through out! 😂😂😂 Choir drama

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      I know, right? Glad you enjoyed the read ☺

      Liked by 1 person

  5. zaram says:

    Hehe😂…This really does happen in some choir groups. I now know what to call people like Charlotte “Choristically incorrect!”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hehe… Good name for her, right? 😂

      Liked by 2 people

  6. YesideO says:

    hehehe….Choir drama! I can totally relate

    Liked by 2 people

      1. YesideO says:

        Yes. Charlotte didn’t care whose head she stepped on to get her act on stage. Unneessary, if you ask me, but truth be told, I can’t deal with off-keys and off-beats…but I manage after all if I can’t do anything about it.
        The interesting life of a chorister…lol 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      2. joseyphina says:

        I see… I can’t stand off-keys and beats myself. They irritate my spirit. Thanks for sharing your chorister life☺😊

        Liked by 2 people

      3. YesideO says:

        lol…you’re welcome 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Korkor Tee says:

        oh sometimes during rehearsals i get the temptation to hold people’s mouths or to mute their microphones. off key is annoyin if you are in bed with music.

        Liked by 3 people

      5. joseyphina says:

        I know…. It’s a total turn-off. I’m glad to know you’re a chorister…. Sing well this Sunday ooo…. Baby Jesus will be born 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Korkor Tee says:

    please please this is a story oooo! Kindly post the sequel.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Lol…. I was quietly dreading your comment, Korkor. I’ll get to it, madam😀

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Korkor Tee says:

      hahahahhahahahahahahahaaa you know i have become an addict right? it is always refreshing to read from you.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. joseyphina says:

        Awww… Good to know, dear☺😘

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Fairen says:

    What? That’s it? Where’s the end to this awesome story!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hopefully to be continued… ☺

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Shereen says:

    dead kraa!! this was HILARIOUS!! I used to be part of huge ghanaian choir between 16-18. I was the youngest, all the ladies were about 30 or older. There were MANY Charlottes, girl! memories!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Oh really? I see…. I see have quite a lot of singers here🙌

      Liked by 1 person

  10. D'Dream says:

    You are such a good story teller #respect.
    I just hoped there isn’t terrible sinister intention of this sister at the end of everything. Enough drama already and I’m hoping to read the next of his concocted plan.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmmm…. Hope so too. Thanks for reading, D. ☺

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Amazing! I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. joliesattic says:

    I so identify with this. I joined a choir and some were off key, though enthusiastic. One young man in particular. A few years later, my son came to stay and was invited to sing. He sat next to the young man and found it difficult to stay on key with such a powerful off key singer next to him. LOL My shy son was asked to do solos all the time because of his beautiful tenor voice.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Haha… Good for him. Can be uncomfortable telling someone he is going off-key, fearing his reaction. Thanks for sharing ☺

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Haha! Choir drama is a real thing! I am the music assistant at my church and it can get awkward really quickly. Last week I arrived to be yelled at by a woman because her robe was missing for the fourth time – hers is the only one that ever goes missing. If I could only find where she puts it….then I could tell her it is her fault. Ha!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Wow… Interesting.. Working with people can be hectic sometimes

      Like

  14. Mandy says:

    There is a Charlotte in every choir 😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      So I hear lol😂😂

      Like

  15. iKomusana says:

    Poor Comfort, she can’t win with these ones

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      I know, right? 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. mimispassion says:

    On point. It’s good to look good in church but how far is too far?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      That’s a good question, Mimi.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. prinxy says:

    Oooo My Dear Josey… Another Great Writes From You… Wondering what would happen next. ***just keep calm and read every chapter *** guess that’s what I will do…. Nice one Dear

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, dear. I’m glad you enjoyed it. The link o the next part is at the end. Happy reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Miss.Kizza says:

    hahaha, i started the sequel from part 4 and hard to come back to 1..i must saaay i love it. have friends in choir and the drama is reaallllllll, the heat is on and the beyonce /rihanna wannabes are also existant..hehehe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Wow…. I thought I was being imaginative but it seems more real now. Interesting, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Miss.Kizza says:

        pleasure ,pleasure!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Loooove it! It seems you are tempting me ( to try my hand at series, you make them so cool) , i like your writing style Josey!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      I’m glad you do, dear. Do try your hand on series. You’ll enjoy it 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Fantastic as usual Joseyphina! I admit to a little envy. Not trying to take over like our girl Charlotte, though. 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for reading, dear☺

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Hahahahah….i love this Charlotte, Let’s see how long she holds up her act

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Kaycee says:

    Excellent Christian story. I love it because it doesn’t portray the normal boring Christian stories. Jesus things must be done with swag

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Haha… Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

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