Whoa. This is tough. I have no idea which one I’d choose as I type this. Hopefully by the end of the piece, I’d have made up my mind.
Separation from a loved one be it by death or a breakup is heart-wrenching. Anyone who finds someone worth staying with despite the many imperfections and have their heartbeats syncing, wishes they would live in the moment of bliss forever. But everyone knows that’s not possible but at least people try to hold on to the love they share to get them through the difficult times. We never think about the people we love leaving us. Our hearts wouldn’t let us.
But it does happen. Sudden events happen and we find ourselves alone. Broken into many pieces, hoping someone would help us gather them and make us feel human again.
Losing a loved one to death is tragic. It kind of feels like a part of you has died with the person. All one can do to comfort him/herself is reminiscing the fond memories they shared. You can console yourself knowing that he/she knew that you deeply cared for him before passing away. There’s some closure compared to having someone you loved die before being able to let him/her know how you felt.
However, losing someone you care about to amnesia would be troubling. Be it from a nasty motor accident or some disease, you can never be sure when the memories would come back. And judging from the movies I’ve watched, sometimes amnesia comes with an attitude overhaul to the surprise to the other partner. How do you convince someone with amnesia that you two loved each other especially when the new him/her doesn’t seem impressed by your person? Do you stick around, doing everything to hopefully trigger a memory or do you give up, knowing he/she is lost to you forever?
Either instance means you lose the one you love. In the first, your love is gone for good; in the second, the person you know to love you is gone emotionally. This is not a win-win situation. Which loss can you live with?
Choosing for him to pass away might feel selfish as it would imply that you would prefer him not to live than for him to live and not love you back. Choosing for him to forget you ever meant something to him means you can live with the fact that he may never love you again and go on and be with someone else. Maybe you could move on with someone else as well. You can take it like you two just suffered a breakup.
Death is painful; being forgotten out of the blue doesn’t sound pleasant. If he is to pass, there’s a chance that I’ll find love in someone else after a while. If he forgets me, I have to decide to either wait for him to fall in love with me all over again or move on.
I think I’ll take my chances with the second option and hope for the best. I wouldn’t wish death for someone I love just so he’d remember me.
What about you? What would you prefer and why? Kindly share your views. You know how I love to read your thoughts.
© Josephine Amoako 2016