Would You Rather #58: Have Someone You Love Pass Away Or Have Him/Her Suddenly Forget Everything About You? 


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Whoa. This is tough. I have no idea which one I’d choose as I type this. Hopefully by the end of the piece, I’d have made up my mind. 

Separation from a loved one be it by death or a breakup is heart-wrenching. Anyone who finds someone worth staying with despite the many imperfections and have their heartbeats syncing, wishes they would live in the moment of bliss forever. But everyone knows that’s not possible but at least people try to hold on to the love they share to get them through the difficult times. We never think about the people we love leaving us. Our hearts wouldn’t let us. 

But it does happen. Sudden events happen and we find ourselves alone. Broken into many pieces, hoping someone would help us gather them and make us feel human again. 

Losing a loved one to death is tragic. It kind of feels like a part of you has died with the person. All one can do to comfort him/herself is reminiscing the fond memories they shared. You can console yourself knowing that he/she knew that you deeply cared for him before passing away. There’s some closure compared to having someone you loved die before being able to let him/her know how you felt. 

However, losing someone you care about to amnesia would be troubling. Be it from a nasty motor accident or some disease, you can never be sure when the memories would come back. And judging from the movies I’ve watched, sometimes amnesia comes with an attitude overhaul to the surprise to the other partner. How do you convince someone with amnesia that you two loved each other especially when the new him/her doesn’t seem impressed by your person? Do you stick around, doing everything to hopefully trigger a memory or do you give up, knowing he/she is lost to you forever?

Either instance means you lose the one you love. In the first, your love is gone for good; in the second, the person you know to love you is gone emotionally. This is not a win-win situation. Which loss can you live with?

Choosing for him to pass away might feel selfish as it would imply that you would prefer him not to live than for him to live and not love you back. Choosing for him to forget you ever meant something to him means you can live with the fact that he may never love you again and go on and be with someone else. Maybe you could move on with someone else as well. You can take it like you two just suffered a breakup.

Death is painful; being forgotten out of the blue doesn’t sound pleasant. If he is to pass, there’s a chance that I’ll find love in someone else after a while. If he forgets me, I have to decide to either wait for him to fall in love with me all over again or move on. 

I think I’ll take my chances with the second option and hope for the best. I wouldn’t wish death for someone I love just so he’d remember me. 

What about you? What would you prefer and why? Kindly share your views. You know how I love to read your thoughts.

© Josephine Amoako 2016

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. prinxy says:

    Difficult choice here… I could remember when my Grand mother died, then I was a little boy growing up… I felt the loss in my littleness because my grandma was very lovely…
    It pains when we get that unwanted visit from death….

    Josey it also hurt when the one you love gets to leave you… But then you both are still alive and there is always hope for the future…..
    I will go for the first (Death is not an option)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmmm… You’re right, it is difficult. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and have a great week!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. prinxy says:

    Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for reading ☺

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You asked an impossible question to answer here. Either way you have lost someone you love. There is also Alzheimer disease and this is hard for the loved ones who care for the one who suffers from this disease. They are alive but they don’t know who you are. It has almost been since my mother died of a stroke. The hole in my life that she left cannot be filled. Would I have rather had her live and forget me I can’t say. I miss her terribly but to see her and know she doesn’t know me would hurt. Yet if she had lived would she live in pain? Only God knows. Good post, very thought provoking.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmmm… Very dicey. Must have been very hard. Sorry for your loss. Have a great week, Julie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks I posted this to my facebook have a blessed week as well.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. joseyphina says:

        Thank you very much for the share, Julie☺

        Liked by 1 person

  4. gracelarbi says:

    Hmmmm dicey one here but I have experienced death of loved ones many a times and much as we miss them, we manage to live with the memories and move on, not easy though …it takes grace.

    Not experienced the second option before though but hmmmm …grace abounds.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      True… Grace abounds for all unforeseen events. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Grace.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I wa faced with this situation about a year ago. Some one I had just come to know had a High fever which led to some for temporal insanity. I looked at the young woman that lay on the bed and thought, which would have been worse? The insanity was humiliating. Though it was temporal, I thought the pain of watching this loved one in that state was painful. I thought death might have been quick, no humiliation, just the grief. But I realised I was being selfish. What would she prefer?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmmm… That’s tough. Death does sound like the easy way out. Did you ever ask her whether she contemplated dying at that point?

      Like

    2. Yes. Death is the easy way out.
      I never did. We have never spoken about that time of her life in a thorough kind of way. But now that I think about that time it seems necessary to ask questions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. joseyphina says:

        Yeah, maybe but be sure you don’t make her feel like you wanted her dead lol…. She might not take it very well

        Like

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