The ‘I Walk Alone’ Syndrome


(c) wallpoper.com

Jason was born the only child to his parents. Living in a residential area, he didn’t have the childhood experience of hanging out with other kids in his neighborhood. He had enough books and video games to keep him company after school and during the holidays. 

His parents rarely invited his cousins over for the holidays; and though relatives came visiting occasionally and vice versa, they didn’t last that long to forge any serious bond. He became the typical ‘mummy’s boy’; spent most of his time with her. She was his friend and confidante.

Due to his reserved nature and his attachment to his mother, he chose not to enroll as a boarding house student at senior high school. He remained a day school student where he hanged around his guy friends after school for a while and then head back home.

After high school, he went to the university where he lodged at a hostel but he went home almost every other weekend. He attempted dating a couple of times but they all fell through after some months. The girlfriends complained of his noncommittal attitude and after a while with no effort on his part, they quit the relationship. He never paid much attention to it; he attributed their reasons to mere girly pettiness. 

After graduating from the university and then working full-time, Jason came to realize that he couldn’t keep a relationship for long. He confided in a friend who advised him to move out of his parents’ house so he could be independent. It would help him to open up to people more. He heeded to his advice and moved into an apartment.

But it didn’t help matters much. He realized he easily got tired of his relationships after a few months. He would just wake up one day and feel nothing for his girlfriend. Not because of an abhorrent habit of the woman, he just felt fed up. And so he would call it quits.

Years later after fathering two children with two different women who only spent some weekends with him, Jason can tell that he needs help. At age forty, he knows he is no longer a mama’s boy and he needs to settle down. But with his peculiar problem of not being able to stick with one woman for more than three months, he wonders how he can do it.

Jason had always had the ‘I walk alone’ syndrome and he was okay with it until he realized that he had come to the point where he didn’t want to anymore. He wanted to walk with someone but didn’t exactly know how.

Jason has a new girlfriend now. He really loves her and for fear of his ugly nature showing up, he makes her stay over only during weekends so he doesn’t get fed up with her. But he knows his ‘grace period’ would soon run out. What should he do? How can he overcome this syndrome and have a chance of building a life with her?

Help a brother out with your advice and suggestions. Any other observations may also be made. Kindly share your thoughts.

© Josephine Amoako 2016

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18 Comments Add yours

  1. ronbrownx says:

    If it doesn’t fit, you can’t force it. Although he professes love for her, I don’t think it is true love.

    His love for her is not the kind that equates to “till death do they part”, for if it was that kind of love, he would not grow tired of her.

    He needs to move on and someday, if he’s lucky he’ll find someone whom he won’t tire of.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Oh OK, so you believe it is the women he has found so far so he would someone who he won’t get tired of one day? You don’t think it’s also because he also has an issue?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ronbrownx says:

        Oh sure! He could spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours with a professional counselor, learning to deal with, “mommy” issues. Then once he’s “resolved” these issues, he could then force himself to believe that he’s now “cured” and can now love this woman, whom, previously, he would have presumably, tired of eventually, and now live happily everafter with her.

        OR he can have faith that eventually he’ll find a woman whom piques his interest and accepts him as he is.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. joseyphina says:

        Force himself to believe he is cured… Lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ron. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Monique says:

    I’m going to go all spiritual on this (sorry I can’t help it).
    Throughout my relationship with people, both male and female, I’ve realized that the best lovers are the Jesus lovers.

    I mean you can’t have a close relationship with Jesus and not become a great lover…. You know it’s like the side effect of a drug.

    So my advice- very simple.
    He should start a real good relationship with Jesus and oh! He only won’t get the wooing annoiting but he can build strong relationships not only with the girl he loves but others *wink*

    Ps: I love your new pic 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Great advice, Monique! Get the Jesus relationship sorted out first and He’ll take care of it. Very true. Only God teaches us to truly love others. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Monique. Have a great day! ☺😘

      Liked by 1 person

  3. fortunate23 says:

    He needs to grow up and give love a fighting chance. Why does he think he’ll get tired of this new girl he’s in a relationship with now?! He has to learn to be positive, and to fight for what he loves. All the best Jason!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      I agree, he has some growing up to do. And one can’t win a battle he has lost in his mind. Great advice, Fortunate. 👍

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Papberry says:

    Well my thoughts…
    If you do not have something, you cannot give it out, unless you steal it and give it out and you and I know that it won’t last cos soon the owner will come for it.
    A lot of times our upbringing and the society we live in mould us in a certain way and if the individual is not brave, and smart enough he would have been moulded into something without knowing what that is.
    So all I’m tryna lay across is that if you don’t have love you can’t love…true love is given from above. And if you haven’t experienced any real relationship of any form you cannot give it out no matter how you try, you will fake it and it won’t last.
    The point this situation has gotten to, I think this guy should seek God first because I doubt if he has any kind of relationship with Him.
    Once he does that he will learn how to have a real relationship with humans because God will teach him personally and that will automatically flow from within out into any relationship he goes into.
    Ofcourse this will take hard work and determination cos a habit long overdue. Which needs to be broken off!
    That’s just my thought anyways😊.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for the advice. Very true, you cannot give what you don’t have. 👍

      Liked by 1 person

  5. gracelarbi says:

    Wow,Jason cannot give what he has not, yes; but I believe he would have to find the root cause to this:…
    – Did Mummy smother him with too much love and attention?
    – is it a generic trait?
    I want to believe talking to a therapist should be key before venturing into any other relationship.
    With the co-habitation bit, he should stop it or else he will have several kids before matrimony (born 2+..? )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Yeah, talking to a therapist might help. Born 2+ sounds like a disaster, Grace 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. vhuvu says:

    I might have the walk alone syndrome but love is love either way. You can’t force it. He can try to stay but then he might hate himself if feels nothing. Not everyone was meant to be with someone. It’s something in us that makes us feel like that. The fear of being alone forever. There are those with their respective others but are still walking alone every day.
    For him I’d suggest to first yes get closer to God. That will help. That’s the best relationship he can have. Pray about it. It works.
    Then he should look at his friends .does he keep them or lose them like he loses women. If he does then the issue is not just on one area but across areas.
    Thirdly he needs someone interesting. I’m sorry if I’m being rude but some people are so unnecessary to keep in life. Boringgggggg. He needs to figure out what type of woman he wants. List it all down. We all have a type. And we all know where to find our types. Eg church if I want a serial Christian. A bar if I want a drunk. Trips if I want an interracial relationship. Depends.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. joseyphina says:

      Great insight, V! He needs to do a self-check for sure. Thanks for sharing 👍☺

      Liked by 1 person

  7. dunelight says:

    Perhaps Jason can’t love. Advice is nice but this is a life long character … some might call it a flaw…others might say it is part of his makeup. He needs to learn to love others.

    To find out why he cannot love others he needs the help of a trained professional.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Yeah Jason does need help. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ☺

      Like

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