It is always said one doesn’t fully appreciate the value of something or someone until it or he/she is gone. We also say that good is the enemy of great; and even when we find what is best, our eyes still can’t stop looking for something better.
Some people find amazing partners with whom they could spend their lives together but along the line, what they first appreciated as amazing feels normal and out of anticipation for something fun and exciting, they risk it all chasing another. Talk of eating your cake and having it.
So there’s a break up and they both move on. But the greedy one realizes that it was a mistake and turns around only to find out the other has found someone else. Now watching from a distance, it dawns on him that she was the best thing that ever happened to him (or vice versa). He can’t blame anyone but himself for losing such a gem and wishes the best for her. She deserves better. He hopes he makes her happy. That’s the usual wish an ex would have considering the fact that he betrayed her, right?
Well, I’ve learnt that there are no more obvious answers to such questions. Apart from the psychopaths we see in our usual TV detective series who chase their exes around never wanting them to be happy, it seems some people can’t let go and wish the worst for their past loves. I happened to listen to Joe’s song ‘So I Can Have You Back,’ on radio recently and though the rhythm was the usual cool love song one would listen to, the words kind of shocked me.
Just to be sure of what I had heard, I downloaded it so I could listen to it again. Wishing that the one who has taken his place would make an unpardonable mistake and breaks her heart just so he could have her back seemed like the very opposite of a love song. Usually, it goes like one regretting the mistake made and the wish that he could go back in time to correct it. But to wish that she would return to him out of a broken heart doesn’t sound right to me.
I figured that one would want to be reunited with a past lover out of personal conviction that he was the best for her in spite of how great her new relationship might be faring. But to wish doom for her new relationship doesn’t spell true love to me. It only sounds like ‘if I’m unhappy, so should you’.
Personally I believe that we are all bound to make mistakes in relationships. But when it ends and you both move on, be mature to wish well for him/her. If you two are meant to be, you would end up back together. But entertaining and pronouncing negative thoughts over them only shows how impure your feelings really are. Just my thoughts.
Some would say it’s a cool song to listen to but I doubt anyone would be happy to hear an ex praying such hopes over him/her. You may have a listen and share your thoughts.
© Josephine Amoako 2016.