I sometimes wonder what happens when a man enters the fatherhood stage: the little to no expression of love towards their children. The lucky ones get some tough love; as least he’s showing some affection. It’s better than none at all.
I wonder because before they became fathers and even husbands, they must have been affectionate guys to woo their love interests enough to convince them to spend the rest of their lives with them. What happened to the guy who showered someone’s daughter with so much love and affection that he would forget to do same for his daughter?
More often than not, the impressive chivalrous acts guys put up during the courting stages vanish into oblivion sometime after the knot is tied. One can’t help but wonder if that was all for show and not an innate attitude. And the girl child faces a similar dilemma.
When she’s an adorable toddler, the father makes her feel like a princess, always complimenting her and making her feel a big part of his life. But as she grows, the attention fades until the moment when he totally ignores her presence and any attempt to get his attention turns into something else.
As much as we show so much love to our mothers during Mothers’ Day, we wish we could do same for our fathers but the truth is, most fathers don’t leave any fond memories in the hearts of their wards to merit such universal celebration. This is not to say all mothers are great; but in the case of fathers, it seems there are too many a bad nut. No matter how well you try to extract the good taste in your mouth, one bad nut finds its way onto the tongue.
The significance of a father’s emotional presence in the development of his daughter can’t be underestimated. It is said that girls marry their fathers’ image; if it is true, then fathers need to be their best selves so their daughters can be drawn to their type to settle down with. When the father’s love is absent, the girl feels empty and stands the risk of seeking a father figure elsewhere who would show her the love she’s lacking at home. The outcome of such a scenario, we all can guess.
Sometimes, daughters put up an attitude, isolate themselves or act up not necessarily out of rebellion but just to get the father’s attention. The more she is ignored, the more agitated she becomes and the more untoward she may turn out to be.
To all the fathers reading this who never cease to shower love on your daughters, God bless you for that and may you keep on doing so in order to raise well-loved and self-confident ladies who would know better than to fall prey to abusive men later in life.
But to those who know within themselves that they have lost touch with their emotional connection to their daughters, you have no idea how badly that could be affecting them. It’s not too late to reconnect with them. You could be saving them from taking a self-destructive step. The same way you cherish or used to cherish your wife, remember to do same for your daughter. She needs it to grow, to blossom and believe in herself.
NB: This post was inspired by the image above. I hope it changes hearts.
© Josephine Amoako 2016