Open Letter #4: To My Bully


(c) Getty Images.

Hi there,I hope you are doing well wherever you are. Of all the people I would have wanted to write to, you were the last on my mind. But after all these years, I guess it is necessary for me to do this so I get the closure I so need.

Memories of my life back in junior high school are tainted because of what I went through thanks to you. I can’t have a complete recall of a happy moment back then without having it sullied with thoughts of you. It’s unfortunate but it is what it is. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have handled things differently and I would have unveiled the better and stronger version of myself earlier. But everything happens for a reason and I appreciate that.

It wasn’t my fault I was born into a humble home as compared to your sophisticated ones and so I couldn’t afford the goodies you were so accustomed to. I just needed to feel at home in my new school and somehow got to meet you. You were just to help me settle in. I never wanted to fit into your clique. I knew I didn’t belong there and so I knew better than to cross the line. I didn’t need you always rubbing it in my face about how short I fell from your standard; what a pity I was. But I don’t blame you totally. I played a role in that scene as well. I let you put me down and I never fought back. It has never been in my nature to resist; I always take it in, process it and then filter it out.

Although I was able to break free from associating with you, the down feeling that burdened me never quite left. It always made me feel insecure, insufficient, not good enough. You have no idea how many nights I’ve cried, wondering why I was born this way: oversensitive and passive to resistance. But I thank God it was only a phase I had to endure, one that is way behind me now.

For years, I held resentments against you; wishing you all the worst things I could muster to think of. Just a trigger and I could feel the rage and hurt rising within me. I thought I was punishing you by holding grudges against you. But I later realized I was only holding myself prisoner by my resentments. In order to free myself, I had to forgive and let you go. And what a relief it was when I finally did!

I remember when we met again at a hair salon after so long a time and noticed we were using the same phone. I couldn’t believe it. Who would have thought that my parents could ever afford to buy me the items you used? Indeed, there’s time for everything.

Ever since that time, I’ve never felt any strong resentments towards you whenever we happened to bump into each other. I actually feel indifferent now. Our painful history is dead and buried. As much as I owe it to myself and society to be civil to you, I doubt we can ever be friends again. Some people are better related to at a distance and you my dear, fall in that category.

I wish you the best in whatever you do. I just hope that when you start your family, you won’t raise your children to look down on people who are below your social status and thus repeat history. Because you don’t know what tomorrow holds for someone you deem beneath you today.

I do feel better now. Case solved. Thank you for teaching me to find myself in the most painful way. It was an experience worth having.

Regards,

Jo.
*****

Were you ever bullied in school? Is there something you would like to get off your chest? I recommend you write it down. It will make you feel better. Were you a bully? Do you regret your actions back in school? Why don’t you write a sincere note about how you feel about your actions? It would make you feel better as well. 

Kindly tag me in your post so I don’t miss it. Can’t wait to read yours!
© Josephine Amoako 2016

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29 Comments Add yours

  1. evanyambu says:

    well put across i like it. at least from it you learned something and sorry for that. hope bullies could read this and change their behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Yeah, I hope so too. Thanks for reading ☺

      Like

  2. somawrites says:

    To at least have closure… they’re not worth our time and attention not to talk of our happiness!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Oh not at all! Thanks for reading, Amaka ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      1. somawrites says:

        My pleasure, Josey 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. nmaelinwa says:

    I like this letter because I was bullied when I was a little girl.. but all are in the past and will forever be in the past. Thank you for posting this. I hope they bullies will learn to stop looking down on others and treat them right and I also hope the bullied will be encouraged from this letter.
    God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      God bless you too for reading, dear☺

      Liked by 1 person

  4. itsmesaraa says:

    Forgiveness is an act of strength and will and it just shows how strong you are and what kind of a good person you truly are.
    Ive been bullied , with words and acts. But you know, as hard as it seems, i never cared that much.
    I really admire you, you’re the bigger person in this situation ☺️☺️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Saraa. Your words are really encouraging. ☺

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I was bullied in school back then but one of my aunt Bullied me the most..she emptied me emotional till i gathered courage to LEAVE, i’ll surely write about it stlishly

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Please do. But we survived it, didn’t we? ✋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes we did, praise to God

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Beckhar says:

    Bullies are people with major ISSUES! picking on people and making their lives miserable to make themselves feel better. They forget that turning someone’s light off doesnt make your’s shine any brighter.. glad you dealt with it and moved on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      You’re right…they do have issues. Thanks for reading, Beckhar ☺

      Like

  7. joymanda says:

    Eish good one there. The letters are piling up. I have to catch up. And oh, those bullies have to hear from me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      I hear, no pressure

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m sorry for your bad experience and rejoice that you rose above it. I wish people would behave like elephants do, nurturing and protecting each other. It’s strange how the animal kingdom sometimes behaves more honorably than humans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Hmm… I know, right? But it is well. Thanks for reading, Corina☺

      Liked by 1 person

  9. vhuvu says:

    Nice. I’m happy you forgave the bully. Im happy you are okay. I wasn’t really bullied. Okay maybe I was. Laughed at everyday from primary through secondary for not being able to talk well. Mocked somedays. But I got through it. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Yeah, we all went through a little something but we got through it☺

      Liked by 1 person

  10. paintdigi says:

    Good posts, beautiful blog.
    Congratulations.
    Welcome to see my creations: paintdigi.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Paintdigi. I’ll pass by.

      Like

      1. paintdigi says:

        you’r welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  11. tdzifa says:

    Love the depth and sincerity in this. It’s pretty interesting how bullies think. They are so insecure they just have to make other insecure. We must train our children to know how to put them in their right place. In a very loving way of course. A way that will make them stop and think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      I agree… We must train our children the right way. Thanks for reading 😊

      Like

  12. Latifat says:

    Refreshing thoughts Joseyphina. I was thinking about how I’d write about my own experience the other day. Thanks for sharing yours

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Latifat. You should… Hope to read it soon ☺

      Like

      1. Latifat says:

        Just did! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! http://wp.me/p73B4K-9G

        Liked by 1 person

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