Many marriages today reek of infidelity on both sides. People fall in love (or is it lust?), have a grand wedding ceremony, settle down and when the bliss fades and routine of coming home to each other begins to feel boring, one party or even sometimes both, start looking outside to find someone to excite them. And (no) thanks to sites like Ashley Madison who make cheating so much easier and convenient for people (I’m so glad the site was hacked), cheating is no longer news. A partner gets shocked to his/her peril. Some couples agree to have an ‘open marriage’ to avoid feeling guilty or jealous about their extra-marital activities. If a marriage which is supposed to be a commitment is excused to flout the rules of commitment, then what is the point at all? Another topic for another day.
So I have a question to ask,
if you caught your parent red-handed with someone else, would you report it to the other parent or would you just keep quiet?
What if you were a house help, a driver, cousin or nephew/niece and you caught your boss/uncle or his wife/auntie having an affair, would you tell the other party or turn a blind eye? I’m going to paint two scenarios and you may share your thoughts on it.
Number one: A guy at the university who always found it challenging receiving enough allowance from his father happened to chance on him at one of the campus hostels with a female student in a rather compromising situation. Instead of confronting him about cheating on his mother, he decided to use the situation to his advantage. He chose to blackmail his father for a car and increased allowance in exchange for his silence to which his father readily obliged. The father continues to hang out with younger ladies and the son still profits from his dirty acts. The mother as far as anyone knows, is totally oblivious to this arrangement and is living the illusion of having a good marriage.
Number two: A house help or a driver chances on his boss’ wife kissing another man in a car. The madam usually goes out quite early and comes back late in a ride with a particular man when the husband is out on business travels. A lot of signs indicate that she is cheating on the boss. He really respects and admires his boss and finds it very unfair that his wife could be cheating on him and thus feels compelled to report her to his boss. But he’s afraid of being a weapon of destruction in the marriage. Is it his place to do so or he should just mind his business and hope that time catches up with the boss’ wife?
Marriage is a dicey issue and anything that would put a third party in such an awkward spot can be confusing. Children are issues out a marriage so whatever that is going on between their parents is their business as well or is it not? If you are a parent and your child happens to find your partner cheating, would you expect him/her to tell you about it?
What if it were to an outsider living with you; a relative or employee? Would you expect such loyalty from them or do you prefer they kept their noses out your affairs and if something is out of order, you’d prefer to find out by yourself?
Kindly share your thoughts and let’s talk it out. Where do you draw the line between minding your own business and intervening in a situation which directly or indirectly affects you? I’m waiting.☺
© Josephine Amoako 2016