Meet Sandy, a lovely young lady born into and raised by a staunch Christian family. She grew up with great enthusiasm to do God’s work and thus joined her parents in their evangelistic travels. Doing God’s work was a priority and she assured herself that nothing would separate her from God. But her life was about to take a different turn.
She had returned back home from a missions field. She bumped into a gentleman she later came to know as Ken. They clicked almost immediately. Sandy had not been in any serious relationship before and she looked forward to the experience with naïve glee. Ken seemed ‘experienced’ in that area but didn’t act condescendingly toward her which attracted her to him the more. She began to nurse thoughts of settling down and raising a family with mini Sandy and Ken running around the house. But there was a problem. Ken was not a believer.
Sandy had listened to countless sermons in church admonishing believers not to be ‘unequally yoked’ with unbelievers; that light has no relationship with darkness. Knowingly entering a marriage with someone who didn’t share your faith was dangerous; the only business a believer had with a non-believer was leading him to Christ. Sandy who was knee deep in love with Ken found herself struggling with this truth.
To her, Ken’s love was heaven sent and she believed she could use her love to draw him to know and accept God. Her mother advised that she should forget about him because she was merely deceiving herself. Sandy took it upon herself as a challenge to prove her mother wrong.
But Sandy underestimated Ken’s position on faith. He was a non-believer not because he had not heard the Good News before or that he had strayed. He was raised in a secular family and he found life comfortable that way. To him, religion was complicated and hypocritical. He made it clear that as much as he loved her and he would reach for the stars if she so wished, he was not interested in knowing her God. Any efforts no matter how subtle in order to make Ken reconsider his position caused him to pull away and take on a defensive stance.
Sandy wouldn’t give up. She believed love could endure and conquer all and that it was possible for her to have both God and Ken in her life. But the harder she pushed, the farther away Ken went and eventually, the relationship ended.
She felt angry with God for not helping her win over Ken. She put on an attitude of indifference whenever she was in church and wouldn’t open her heart to His word anymore. Her mind would wonder to the many times she and Ken argued about certain moral principles and she found herself ‘understanding’ Ken’s point of view. She grew to become skeptical of the things she once was a strong advocate for.
In a twist of events, they got back together and things were much better between them because Sandy had become more ‘liberal’ on certain issues. Every moment spent with Ken was slowly peeling every layer of her connection with her faith, a compromise she was willing to make. Then the issue of sex came up. Sandy still insisted that she’d only engage in it under the covenant of marriage and that she wanted to keep herself pure for her husband. Ken countered that sex was a beautiful thing, a special experience if shared with someone you truly loved regardless of whether or not they were man and wife.
Besides, if her God was as good as she said and that He wants the best for His children, why would He withhold such a wonderful thing from them? Ken added that entering a marriage as a virgin didn’t guarantee a good marriage anyway so what was the point? Sandy couldn’t win the argument because she herself was in a distant relationship with God. She began to think, what was the big deal anyway?
After an on-and-off series which lasted for more than a year, they broke up again. She found out Ken had moved on with a college sweetheart. But she didn’t want to give up on him. To prove herself as deserving of his love, Sandy decided to hang up her status as a Christian and go on full-time secular.
All counsel from her parents and Christian friends fell on deaf ears. Her point was sometimes you lose some to win some. Maybe she would be able to win him over if she went ‘undercover.’ To her, compromise was the best way to go. She was meeting him half-way. She was proud of her decision that her love won the fight against the limitations of her faith.
What she didn’t realize was that, she didn’t meet him half-way; she migrated from her stance and joined him at his. He didn’t compromise, she did. He stood his ground and won the fight.
When it comes to faith, there is no room for middle ground in a relationship. One has to give up on his/her position so they can truly be one. Light and darkness cannot cohabit. It’s either the light dispels the darkness away or the light goes out to accommodate the darkness.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of Sandys in the world losing the fight because of the love of man which is susceptible to depreciation. Some of you reading this would think it was silly of Sandy to exchange God’s unconditional love for a conditional one and would swear never to make that choice. Good for you if you are able to do that. But for many others, they allow the flesh to decide for them and choose the wrong side. He would think he stands, should watch out so he doesn’t fall.
No temporary pleasure is worth sacrificing eternity with God. Never underestimate the influence of the flesh by entertaining it ‘a little’. Don’t give in to its urges and stand your ground. If your supposed Prince Charming or Miss Right doesn’t believe in your God, then he/she isn’t the one no matter how ‘perfect’ he/she seems. It might be painful to part ways but if you choose God over man, God will give you the man/woman after his own heart.
© Josephine Amoako 2016