A skeptical me went to sleep wondering
How I in the present could have had a hand
In the death of a man in history;
I mean, how?
I can appreciate his gesture was selfless;
And I can will myself to accept Him as my Savior;
But to call me a traitor, denier and murderer;
Psst! Spare me, please!
Found myself in another place at another time;
Heard heavy steps approaching;
Soldiers coming my way led by someone who looked familiar;
Heard him say, “The man I shall kiss is the man.”
He approached the Lord and kissed him.
The Lord said, “Would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”
But that was…He turned and it was me!
But how could it be?
I then found myself in a courtyard;
Confused, I looked around hoping to find someone I knew;
Then I heard someone say, “This one was with Him!”
I turned to hear him respond, “I do not know Him.”
Yet another insisted that He was one of His disciples;
But he said again, “No, I am not.”
“Did I not see you with Him?” Even so, he denied it saying, “I do not know what you are saying.”
What was he afraid of? Hadn’t he said a while back he’d die for Him?
Then the cock crowed and it dawned on him what had done;
As he turned away in guilt, my heart leaped again.
He was wearing my face!
Then came face to face with soldiers whipping Him;
Each lash more severe than the last one;
I couldn’t stand the sight; too inhumane and bloody.
But a moment later, I found the whip in my hand;
Landing it heavily against His back.
When He finally hung on the Cross,
I felt totally run out of strength;
I heard Him say, “I thirst.”
But a sponge dipped in vinegar was offered Him;
Come on, what’s wrong with granting a dead man’s only wish? But in my hand was the stick which had the sponge.
“Forgive them Father, because they know not what they do.” Who was He talking about? The soldiers, right?
But He looked down and our eyes met. I shuddered.
How could he see me? I wasn’t supposed to be here!
With a bloodied smile, He said, “It is finished.”
I sighed in relief. It was finally over.
But then a heavy quake which shook the very foundation of the earth;
And I screamed in terror; I wasn’t ready to die.
I heard a voice say to me, “He died so you might have life.”
Like being in someone else’s body, I saw myself piercing the Lord’s side;
And from there, flowed out blood and water;
I felt a peace I have never sensed but always yearned wash over me;
I knelt and said, “You are truly the Son of God!”
Then I woke up with a start.
Whew! I knew it had to be a dream.
But why did it feel like a recall of a past life?
Sure, this happened way before I came to exist.
But do I keep betraying, denying and killing Him with my actions today?
Do I keep spitting at Him, mocking and whipping Him with my thoughts?
Do I constantly tell Him to ‘prove Himself’ with my doubts?
Do I keep sentencing the Righteous One to death year in year out?
Yes, He died for me and I hope not to take His sacrifice for granted ever again
So help me God.
Josephine Amoako © 2016