Got a secret, can you keep it? ….Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. 🎵🎵
Just reminiscing the times I used to watch Pretty Little Liars which I realized is still showing. I read they have fast-forwarded their lives to about five years’ time; it was about time. Well, I outgrew it (after waiting for more than five seasons for the mysterious A after suspecting almost every character apart from the liars as the stalker and coming up with nothing) and moved on. That’s just by the way.
Secrets…we all have them or not? They are the dark or embarrassing things we did or felt some time ago; not necessarily that bad but difficult to share with anyone-which includes one’s shadow. The secret holders wish that they carry the skeletons in their closets to their graves and be buried with them. But most often than not, they come out just when we thought they were safely hidden.
But should we have secrets to keep at all? Secrets keep us bound; they hinder us from being totally honest to the people who matter to us. They hover over our heads like heavy clouds waiting to fall causing needless tension to crackle around us; keeping us jumpy and absent-minded. The past is behind us, right? And we are moving ahead. So why do we keep ourselves enslaved to our past? Why do we give power to past events when we have the present to make use of and future to look forward to?
Reputation is important; and sometimes people try to cover up certain ‘mistakes’ they made in the past so as to keep their image intact. But in doing so, they risk their ‘perfect outlook’ and like a ticking bomb, it explodes right in their faces; causing a big mess.
Ideally, there should be at least one person you can trust enough to share your secrets with; be it parent, spouse or friend so you don’t have to feel burdened by it but there’s always that fear that such an action would come back to stab us in the back. So we play it safe and keep it to ourselves even if we risk going insane with the heaviness of it all.
Whatever it may be, if it was a brief flirt or affair with someone outside matrimony/ relationship, or a lie to save face, one question we need to ask ourselves is how much damage it would cause the ones we are keeping it from if they were to find out from someone else. If there is the slightest chance that you can salvage your treasured relationship by coming clean on your terms, it sounds like a better option than having to confess when the secret is already out there.
As for the personal secrets which do not have anything to do with other people, it depends on you whether you can own up to them so you can be free. Whether you decide to take it to the grave with you or not, just don’t let it imprison you. Life is too short to be living in self-inflicted bondage.
Josephine Amoako © 2016