What Was I Thinking? LXV


My patience had completely run out. If he wasn’t holding our baby, I’d have tried Fitz’s strangling method on him. It worked on me, it should work on him just fine. I was still chewing on the mischievous plan when he spoke.
“You were already headed somewhere when I arrived, right?”
“How do I know Fitz’s crook gang aren’t holding him in some abandoned warehouse or something?” Adam chuckled.
“You obviously watch a lot of action movies.”
“And Fitz is nothing short of clever. The simple fact he sent you here to distract me is proof that he has something up his sleeves. Please tell me where he has taken him.”
“I have no idea, Emily. He just called me to come over and check on you.”
“And since when do you do his bidding?”
“Since he started signing my checks.” I sighed.
“Fine; I’ll go and check out the location he sent me.” Just when I took steps away from him, I remembered I had left something in the bedroom.  I rushed upstairs. It was not on the drawer so I opened the first one and hastily searched for it. I paused when my hand hit something solid. I uncovered it and I froze. Then I screamed.

Adam came rushing in with a not-too-bothered Karen on his bosom.
“What is it?” When I wouldn’t respond, he put the baby on the bed and walked to me.
“Emily, what….?” The question died on his lips when his eyes fell on what mine was still glued to. He exhaled slowly. I slowly picked it up and stared at it, my mouth opened.
“Where did you find it?”
“Right here, among his underwear.” He took it from me and hid it under the folded underwear. He closed it.
“You never saw it,” he said dryly.
“Why…why would Fitz keep a handgun here at home? Why does he even own one in the first place?” I asked, looking at Adam expectantly, waiting for an answer. He merely shrugged.
“Fitz has proven to be more hardcore than we both could even imagine. How and why he has it is beyond me and I wouldn’t bother trying to find out. Just leave it be.”
“Leave it be? We have a baby living in this house. How is that okay?”
“I doubt Fitz would ever think of using it against Karen.”
“Maybe but you know my memo; I’m an unfaithful wife who comes home with extra trouble for dessert especially when he hasn’t asked for it. What stops him from shooting me in the head the next time I mess up?” Adam placed his palms on my cheeks in a calm gesture that stunned me.
“If he has been able to live with you all this while without killing you, I think we should give him some credit. He loves you too much to hurt you, Em.”
“That is the problem, Adam! His love can get too intense and it gets scary. You should have seen the rage in his eyes when his fingers tightened around my throat just the other day.”
“Yeah, I can tell you for a fact that all that glitters is not gold. He is nice when he is in the mood but when you trigger his dark side, it’s a horror movie in real life.”
“Now I know you’re exaggerating, Em.”
“I’m not! Now, I find out he’s keeping a gun in our bedroom and you don’t expect me to freak out?!”
“Maybe it’s not even his,” Adam said lamely.
“Yeah, he’s holding on to it for a friend, keeping it in his underwear drawer!”
“Shush, the lady could be listening,” Adam whispered.
“She’s the least of my worries,” I said dismissively. When he arched a brow, I added,
“She knows better than to sing to the wrong ears.”
“Honey, I’m home!” Adam and I froze for a moment. To be seen together in our matrimonial bedroom didn’t seem right in any language. Adam quickly picked up lil’ Karen who had started laughing to herself. We left the room and I closed the door.
“Emily?” He smiled when he saw me coming downstairs but his face immediately turned to that of confusion when he saw Adam behind me.
“What were you two doing up there?”
“We went to check up on Karen,” I said with the best effort to sound normal.
“So where did you go? When I woke up, you were already gone.”
“Yeah, there was an early emergency meeting I had to attend.”
“I see.”
“I’ll be on my way now. Need to be at the studio,” Adam said.
“Let me have her,” Fitz said, taking the baby from Adam. He hugged me and whispered, “Don’t worry; he won’t hurt you.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
I nodded when he pulled away and glanced at me. He smiled and turned to face Fitz.
They nodded at each other; an obvious man-to-man communication just transpired. He gave me a wink and left the house. Fitz walked to me and planted a kiss on my cheek. I forced a smile.
“You look dressed up. Going somewhere?”
“Me? No. Just felt like dressing up for you.”
“I like it. I’m pretty exhausted. How about we lie down for a bit?”

Fitz kept playing with Karen whiles I lay there quietly, my eyes fixed to the ceiling, my mind running wild. He glanced at me.
“Are you okay? You seem pretty quiet.”
“I’m fine. I’m just thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“You are not going after Tony, right?”
“No, Emily. I called him to come over to the office so we could talk but he said he was busy. So I’ll meet him tomorrow.”
I nodded, the obvious lie hanging in the air. I swallowed, trying not to break into tears.
Who did I get married to? I had no idea when I said “I do;” I was too excited about the wedding dress to bother. We had skipped counselling because the times were never convenient for him. Looking back, there were more than one step that I had missed when planning my life together with Fitz. But there was no point crying over spilt milk now. I wonder if counseling would have prepped me up for the horrifying discoveries I was making at the moment. Had I known was a philosophy of fools and I wasn’t ready to call myself one…yet.
“I’m not going to hurt him, Emily; I promise.” Those were just empty words, I didn’t have to look into his eyes to verify that. My eyes remained fixed to the ceiling.
“Okay.” The chances of me believing that Obama was Asian was higher than believing his promise. I had made my bed and I must lie in it. I was doing just that.

The evening news carried the item about gun control. It was the perfect guise for me to probe Fitz.
“What do you think about individuals carrying guns?”
“I believe it’s for personal protection. If one has a need for it, why not?”
“But certainly not to be kept at home, right? Who knows, it could become a weapon of tragedy during a domestic argument.”
“People keep them at home to protect themselves from burglars and it is understandable. But to use it during a marital home is crazy.” I said nothing for a while.
“You don’t happen to own one, do you?” I asked. He glanced at me and smiled.
“You don’t think I’d use it on you if I were to have one, do you?” he asked back.
“Well, I’ve proven to get on your nerves very often.”
“That’s true; I know I’ve crossed the line more than once for which I’m not proud of but I’d never point a gun at you, okay?” He said, rubbing my arms. I forced a smile. He had smartly avoided answering my question and pressing it would look suspicious. I just had to admit that I had lost this round.

After the news, Fitz excused himself to go take a shower. When he entered the bedroom, he walked straight to the drawer and pulled it open. He sighed in relief when he found the gun safely under his underwear. Maybe he should keep it somewhere else…away from Emily. He looked around. Not tonight, he thought. He couldn’t risk Emily seeing him with it. He closed the drawer with a mental note to move it early the next morning.

When the bedroom door closed behind Fitz, I took my phone and called Tony’s number. It went straight to voicemail. Ugh no, this wasn’t good. I bit down on my lower lip nervously. Fitz was lying and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was going to do everything possible to find him the next day, I promised myself.

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