A man’s ego is intricately woven into his DNA, I believe. An expert once said that an essential key to a successful relationship is knowing how to massage his ego and making him feel appreciated for all his efforts, whatever they may be. But what happens when he sees the ego-pampering as a ticket to impose his will over the lady? Have a read at NaYaa’s story.
She went in for a much older guy; ten-year difference to be exact. Why, because she has been told the older he is, the more responsible he would be. As for the young ones, they were not serious. They may be excellent boyfriends but definitely not ‘take-homeable.’ They were still growing up. They were still boys in adult bodies. And everyone knows that the female’s biological clock ticks faster than the male’s so there was no time to wait.
Oh, he was the epitome of humanly perfect. He had deep pockets and he didn’t mind no matter how many times a day I dipped my hand into it. All she needed to do was call him ‘Daddy’. Just a tender stroke on his ego and the ‘windows of heaven’ were opened to her.
But unfortunately, when he said he liked to be called Daddy, he meant every word of it. His word was final. No idea or suggestion was acceptable; he found it insulting.
‘I am the head of the family’, he would point out and he never tired of reminding her whenever my tongue rolled out in a matter.
“But I am your wife; we are supposed to talk things through together…as one,” she would protest.
“It seems you haven’t been reading your Bible. In case you didn’t know, it says that wives should submit to their husbands.”
All she could do in response was blink blankly. Did he just play the ‘submit-to-me’ card?
As if that was not enough, he found it obligatory to correct or chastise her no matter how public the place was. At first, she would take it in good faith believing that she kind of deserved it. But she realized a little too late that it was a habit of his, one he actually enjoyed.
Why was I laughing so hard?
Don’t stare at someone like that; it was rude.
You’re yawning? Seriously?
Like duhh! I’m human, she’d fume inwardly. She used to get red in the face (literally!) especially when he got in his ‘scolding father mode’ in front of his friends. But with time, she got used to it…omg, did she grow immune and become ‘shameless?’
And to top it all was his classic silent treatment. She thought that was exclusive to women used to punish their guys. How wrong she was! Even when he was in the wrong, it had to be her ‘duty’ to apologize. She thought she could ignore him till he tired out of that ‘inconsiderate’ attitude but she was the one who always caved in at the end. He proved to be a master in this silent war game.
“Oh I’m sorry, daddy. It will never happen again,” she would say softly. With a few strokes and caresses here and there, he’d smile and then all would be forgiven. Seriously, since when does the offended apologize to the offender for what the latter did to the former? NaYaa’s husband was the exception to the rule, it seemed.
He had the money and he took good care of NaYaa but she was losing herself in the process. She was gradually forgetting how to speak for herself and demand to be heard. Leaving him was not an option. Her life was turn to nothing if she left him. She had nothing to call hers; her education not complete, no particular skill she could boast of.
“I’ll keep on praying; God will change him,” she’d say hopefully. She had married early to get away from the tyranny of her daddy but found herself in the house of another. Rushing for a husband, she found her father in an upgraded level with a different face.
Before, she found it fun calling him ‘daddy;’ now, it was a bitter pill to swallow. What one would give up just for a little material wealth….was it really worth it?