What Was I Thinking? XLIX


It has been five days. Five whole days. The frenzied texts from Sabrina escalated my worries. Adam had gone completely dark and I couldn’t tell if he wanted to be out of reach for a while following our last encounter or he had been taken. If it weren’t for Sabrina, I’d have comforted myself with the former because Fitz insisted he didn’t know where Adam was and I was inclined to believe him. I knew Adam’s confrontation angered him but I also knew he was too classy to do anything dirty. Besides, he had been more than a gentleman in this whole matter. The fact that he still treated me with respect after everything I had subjected him to, proved what an angel he was…but who can tell if he had something up his sleeves?
“Maybe if you told Sabrina what happened the last time you saw him, she’d understand how it’s possible that Adam could have gone MIA because he wanted to,” Karen said.
“No; she can’t know. She’s his best friend and I don’t know how long and deep their ties are. Even if I did, she might still expect Adam to reach out to her. And I don’t want her to hate me for what I’ve done to him.”
“And why should it matter to you if she hates you? She’s not your friend.”
“Because our generation loves to offload their frustrations on to social media and I can’t afford to drag Fitz’s name and reputation through that humiliation because I did something stupid.”
“Oh wow; that’s very thoughtful of you, Em. I haven’t even thought about it that way. I must say, matrimony has wised you up.”
“Maybe; I think living with Fitz has taught me a lot. And that is why I’m finding it hard to accept that Fitz might be involved in Adam’s unofficial missing status.”
“But you can’t deny the fact he going dark right after his altercation with your husband seems more than a coincidence,” Karen pointed out.
“Yep. Even he doesn’t want to talk to me; he should at least get in touch with Sabrina so I can sleep at night.”
“So you miss him?”
“Of course I do but I don’t have the right to. I can’t eat my cake and have it. Talking about cakes…”
“There is no patisserie around here, Em.”
“I beg to differ,” I said, taking my phone.
“We’re not going to change our route because you crave for a cake.”
“Not just any cake, honey. Cream cake or chocolate cake or we can have both!”
Karen shook her head as she concentrated on her driving. I felt a sharp pain in my tummy which made me wince. Karen glanced at me when she noticed me touching my tummy.
“Are you okay?”
“I felt something….aaarrrrggghhh!” Karen’s eyes widened.
“Is that…blood?” I looked down at myself. I felt panic rising inside me. I looked up at her and I could see the fear in her eyes as well. She upped her speed and another sharp pain slashed through me. My eyes began to fill with tears.
“Just breathe, Em. As much as I wanted to, I felt more comfort giving in to the oblivion swallowing me up than waking up to the pain which seemed to aggravate with every breath I inhaled.
“Emily, can you hear me?”
Oh boy, even if I wanted to die, Karen wasn’t going to let me do so in peace.
I tried to murmur something but my voice was gone. I felt pain all over. I screamed.
“Hold on, Emily. We’re almost there.”

As they rushed me inside, I managed to talk through my pain, telling Karen to call my husband. She nodded and stopped just as I was dragged into the OR. I forced a smile but she knew the smile was only on my lips.
She called Fitz. He picked up at the second ring.
“Karen, is everything okay?”
“No, Fitz. Emily is in the OR. She started bleeding and she was in very deep pain. I’m scared, Fitz.”
“I’ll be right there. Call me immediately you receive an update.”
“I will; please hurry, Fitz.”
“I will.” He ended the call.
After pacing around for a few minutes, Karen called Adam’s line but it went straight to voicemail.
“Adam, this is Karen. I’d not be calling you if it weren’t serious. Emily is in the OR and it’s not looking good. I’m not asking you to rush here or anything but you deserve to know what’s happening. For everyone’s sake, I hope Emily comes out alive.” She ended her message. She wiped the stream of tears on her face.
A nurse rushed out of the OR.
“Karen?” I turned.
“Your friend is very distressed. Could you come and help keep her calm till the doctor comes in?” I rushed after her.
She held my hand and touched my hair.
“You’re here.”
“Yes, I am. We’re in this together, remember?” I nodded.
“In case I don’t make it, please tell Adam…”
“Don’t talk like that, Emily. You’re going to come out of this. I need you to believe that.”
“Tell him I’m sorry and I love him.”
“You tell him yourself, okay?” I tightened my grip on her hand with all the strength left in me.
“Promise me, Karen.”
“You’re going to be fine.” The doctor came in.
“Okay…what do we know?”
They started talking in terms that got my head swirling. Judging from my look on Karen’s face, she was lost as well.
“You’d have to leave now.” Karen looked down on me.
“Stay strong, okay? No matter how comforting it feels to give up, don’t give in. Fitz is waiting for you, the baby is counting on you and I need you so come back, okay?”
I nodded. She smiled through her tear filled eyes. I watched her as she was escorted out. I looked around the room and everyone’s face conveyed a different message. Was I dying?

“Fitz!” Karen rushed to him and broke into uncontrollable sobs in his arms.
“How is she?”
“Not good. She’s weak and she has lost a lot of blood.”
“If only she had listened to me and had gone abroad…”

I looked on as my two loves shared their fears but held on to their hopes. If only I could tell them I was going to be fine. Wait, how come I could see them? Wasn’t I supposed to be on the operating table?

The doctor came out and the look he wore wasn’t good news.
“Mr. Daniels, I’m afraid there’s a problem.”
“I don’t have the time to go into the details but the baby needs to come out now and the mother’s condition isn’t any good either. Just wanted to know what your decision would be when it comes down to saving one of them.”
“The mother; save her,” Karen said impatiently.
“I know you’re concerned but it’s her spouse’s wishes which will be considered here.”
“That’s what he wants. That’s what we both want,” Karen said.
The doctor glanced at Fitz. So did Karen. Why wasn’t Fitz saying anything?
“Fitz?” There was no time for this.
“Mr. Daniels, I need to know…”
“Save the baby.”
“What? Fitz!” Karen cried out in shock.
The doctor met his eyes to be sure and when he was, he gave a nod and headed back into the OR.
“What have you done, Fitz?”
“She’ll be fine, Karen.”
“Fine? If she was going to be fine, would he have come out to ask what your choice would be? I can’t believe you just sentenced her to die, Fitz!”
“She won’t die. I’m doing this for her.”
“How is signing her death warrant in her best interests?”
“She has always proved that the baby was more important than anything else. She chose the baby over me over and over again. I’m not going to take that away from her.”
“Oh so this is payback, huh? Trying to punish her for her choices?” He turned to face her squarely.
“Take it or leave it; I’m doing this for her.”
“And if she doesn’t make it? You’d selflessly care for the baby which isn’t even yours?”
“Watch it, Karen!”
“You’re doing this to spite Adam, aren’t you? You just offered up my friend to be slaughtered on the operating table!”
“Calm down, Karen.”
“Calm down? You’ve killed my friend! I hate you!”
She felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back.
“It’s all right, Karen.” She turned and saw that it was James. What was he doing here? She must have called him.
“Let’s go get some fresh air,” he said, pulling her gently. He nodded at Fitz and pulled her back.
“You killed Emily! You killed her! Emily!”

Karen threw up into the sink. She splashed water on her face and held on to the sink as she began panting.
“Are you okay?”
“Fitz is going to get Emily killed, James. He’s going to let her die.”
“What do you mean?”
“He chose the baby over Emily.”
“Why would he do that?” As much she wanted to, she couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Because he’s dangerous vengeful jerk!” She threw up again and wiped her mouth.

I heard my name echoing from a distance. I felt myself growing fainter. Where was I? Where was I going?

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. ammakonadu says:

    Hey! drop me a mail – theampedhub@gmail.com and let’s get talking. Great stuff you have on here.


    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Amma. Sure thing.


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