What Was I Thinking? XXVIII


Many thoughts raced through Adam’s mind. Why was he going to meet Emily? What was he going to tell her; to keep the baby or get rid of it? The latter would be the convenient choice considering how Fitz would take it if he was to hear about this. But he didn’t want Emily to get hurt. He loved her too much to let that happen.
Oh finally, it’s my turn, I thought in relief as I got up to greet the doctor.
“Good day, doctor.”
“Good day…” He handed a folder to a nurse who then walked away.
“Emily!” I turned my head sharply towards the sound of the voice. I felt my blood running cold. What was he doing here? How did he…? I was going to kill Karen!
“Adam…what are you doing here?” I asked, feigning a cool composure.
“I could ask you the same thing.” I glanced at the doctor, who was looking at both of us oddly.
“I’m kind of busy at the moment, Adam. Whatever you’re here for, can it wait?”
“If it’s about your crazy idea of getting rid of my baby, then no.” I closed my eyes in embarrassment.
“Okay…can we please take this inside?” the doctor suggested. We all entered his office and the doctor closed the door.
“Have a seat, please.” We sat.
“So how may I help you?” the doctor asked.
“Well, I…I…I wish to have my pregnancy terminated.”
“Because it’s not my husband’s.”
“You don’t have to do this, Emily. We can figure something out.”
“Like what, eloping so we can live happily-ever-after viewing the sunset on some beach? Be realistic, Adam.”
“Okay…so I take it that, he is the one responsible for your situation,” the doctor said.
“Yes,” I said quietly, my voice drowned in shame.
“What do you propose, young man?” the doctor asked Adam.
He held Emily’s hand which was trembling. He squeezed it gently.
“I know this seems like the most convenient way out but it is not right. You could ruin any chance of having another baby in the future.”
“Well…if a qualified doctor performs it….” the doctor interjected. Adam stopped him with a raise of his hand.
“And think of the psychological trauma you’d be subjecting yourself to for the rest of your lives,” Adam continued.
“If you consult a therapist…”
“Would you stay out of this?” Adam shouted.
“Adam, if I don’t do this, you’ll lose your contract and I, my marriage.”
“If that’s the price we have to pay, then we will.” I looked at Adam with teary eyes.
“I don’t want to lose everything, Adam.”
“You won’t. You have me. I’d admit this wasn’t how I envisioned I’d start my own family but life happens. I love you, Emily and if I have to put everything aside, even my career to be with you, I’ll do that.”
“You don’t have to say that, Adam. This is my fault. I should have taken precaution.”
“Okay, okay…so is someone going to talk to me now because I have other patients to attend to,” the doctor said.
“Thanks for your time doctor but I think we are done here,” Adam said, getting up. He offered a hand to me. I glanced at him and then the doctor. I finally took his hand and got up.
“Thank you, doctor.”
“If you change your mind, come and see me.” Adam scowled at him. I nodded and followed Adam out of the office.
“Should I take you home?” Adam asked.
“No; I think I’ll head back to campus. Thanks for coming through for me, Adam. Your presence was really comforting.”
“Anytime, Em.” He hugged me. I pulled back quickly so as not to be overwhelmed with fresh tears. Adam’s phone beeped. He took it.
“Oh no, I’m needed back at the studio. Okay, I’ll drive you to campus…”
“Don’t bother. I came with a car so you go ahead.” He stared at me.
“I won’t go back inside, Adam.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.” He kissed my cheek.
“I’ll call you and then we sit down and talk, okay?”
“Okay.” He waited for me to sit in my car before driving off. I waved at him with a forced smile. I sighed and gazed at the hospital.
If you change your mind, come and see me, the doctor’s words rang in my head. I tapped the steering wheel with my fingers.
“Not today,” I said to myself and started the engine.

I barged into the room and slammed the door shut with a loud thud. I threw my bag on the bed in rage.
“Oh you went out of your way this time, Karen!” I said angrily.
“I did what I had to do to stop you, Em. I didn’t want you to do anything stupid.”
“By sending Adam after me?”
“I take it that he got to you in time. Who else should I have sent? He’s the father of the baby, isn’t he?”
“You betrayed me at my most vulnerable point in my life after abandoning me.”
“I didn’t abandon you, Emily. I never have.”
“Fitz is waiting for me to call him to either confirm or disprove that I’m pregnant and I don’t know what I’m going to tell him.”
“Tell him the truth, Emily.”
“And risk ruining Adam’s future too? I don’t want to do that.”
“Abortion is murder, Emily.”
“Sometimes life isn’t that black and white, Karen.”
“And this is the grey area?”
“If you were raped by a gang of robbers, no, let’s say terrorists and you conceived; would you keep it?”
“Would you?”
“That’s a totally different….”
“Yes, a shade of grey in a supposed absolute black and white world.” The door opened and we both turned our heads. James entered.
“Hey Emily, how are you doing?”
“I’m getting by. You?”
“I’m good. And the exam preparations?”
“Great; Karen has been keeping me on my toes so it’s going well.”
“Nice.” James glanced at Karen who wore a blank look and then back at me who feigned a smile.
“Am I interrupting something?” he asked.
“Not really. I’m actually leaving,” I said.
“Please excuse us, James. I’ll come and see you later, “Karen said. I took my bag from the bed.
“Don’t bother, James,” I said with a cold stare at Karen and walked out.
“Emily, wait!” The door slammed shut.
“What is going on?” James asked.
“Girl stuff.” Karen walked to the door and opened it. She got out.
“Emily, please wait.” When she got downstairs, I was already in the car with the key in the ignition. I could read her lips but I started the car anyway. When Karen started towards the car, I drove away. Glancing at the side mirror, she was making a call. My phone rang. I looked at it. I took it and tapped on ‘ignore.’ I threw the phone on the seat beside me and stepped on the accelerator.
As I was enjoying the harsh breeze on the highway, my phone rang. I bit my lower lip when I recognized the ringtone. The traffic light ahead turned amber. I stepped harder on the accelerator. It turned red before I could get past the light. I stepped on the brakes and suddenly, I was hit from behind.
The car spun out of control and I screamed.

I opened my eyes to find myself on a hospital bed. I groaned when the body pains began to kick in.
“Emily…are you okay?” I turned my head and looked into Karen’s worried eyes.
“I’ll live.”
“What happened?”
“I was hit from behind.” Karen sighed in relief.
“I thought you did this…” I looked at her with bewildered eyes.
“You thought I tried to kill myself?”
“Not kill yourself but you know…kill the baby. Accidents happen, right?” I touched my tummy. I had even forgotten I was pregnant.
“Is it…?” The door opened and the doctor entered followed by Fitz.
“Fitz,” I said breathlessly. He walked to the bed and took my hand.
“How are you feeling?”
“Not too good but better now that I’ve seen you.”
“Try moving your toes, madam.” Panic struck me and moved them.
“Are they moving?”
“Yes they are. Thankfully, you didn’t suffer any serious injuries. You’ll be out of here very soon.” I said a silent prayer of thanks.
“Everything is intact.” All of us stared at the doctor.
“What do you mean?” Fitz asked.
“Your pregnancy…it is still safe.” Fitz glanced at me.
“Congratulations,” the doctor said with a smile. Fitz turned his gaze to me.
“Fitz, I…”
“Congratulations, wifey.”


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