Being The Other Woman


I never considered the sting that comes with the tag “The Other Woman” until I became one. I always stereotyped that kind of woman to be that selfish, wicked and home wrecking kind who felt no qualms of breaking another woman’s heart and bleeding it dry. The thing is, I didn’t even know I was one.

Why would that thought even cross my mind when there were no red flags? Or maybe there were but I was too blindly in love to notice them. He was always there for me- in every way. Never reached his voicemail or worst still the lady on the other side telling me the phone was off when I called. Never threw a tantrum when I demanded more of what he readily offered: his time, affection and yeah, sometimes his money.

We had our little quarrels, yes; but that’s humanly normal. He never gave me the sense that he was discontented with me or again maybe, I was too comfortable to care.  He was happy with me or was it all in my head?

I was fairly content with my life with him until I saw beautifully dressed young woman with a ring at the supermarket. The way she carried herself and the way the ring gleamed with every little move of the hand, literally whet my appetite for something more than being merely involved with someone. And what even melted my heart was the charming smile of her little daughter when her eyes met mine and gave me a shy, innocent wave.

But the perfect picture of what could have been my future was shattered when her supposed husband who came up behind her and kissed her cheek turned out to be my one and only. I could feel my heart slowing down and my breathing  becoming heavy. He lifted his head and saw me and shockingly, he didn’t flinch. He just looked away and attended to his wife and child.

I don’t know how to describe how I felt: whether heartbroken or dizzy like someone who just woke up out of an unbelievable nightmare. I decided not to call and just wait it out till my heartbeat could get back to normal. He never called. And when I called, for the first time, it went straight to voicemail. Then I knew my fairytale was over.

Photo credits to Google Images.

How could he do this to me?  How long has he been playing both of us? I have been with him for five years and judging from the scenario at the supermarket, his marriage smelled relatively brand new. What was he looking for that he had to go behind me and seek for someone else? And if he had found the one, why not break it off with me and stay with her? Men, can’t be satisfied with just one, can they?

I never saw him again. Not that he vanished out of town but I decided to stay away. I would be lying if I said it was an easy decision.  For weeks, all I could think of was how to destroy his perfect little paradise-how to tell his wife in a dramatic explosive way which would turn his life upside down. But what was the point?

I was the Other Woman; the fact that she is the Mrs. And I’m not earns me the title automatically. And knowing the ugly stigma that comes with it, I didn’t want to be seen that way. It is all behind me now. I’m back at square one-single and searching. But now, I’m wiser. The fact that an interested guy is not wearing a ring does not mean I’m the only one he’s got his eyes on. Next time, I won’t be so foolish. I won’t become the Other Woman again.


15 Comments Add yours

  1. Kim says:

    A well written harsh reality…….great post for women everywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks, Kim. 🙂


      1. Kim says:

        You’re welcome….I’d like to reblog this….can I?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. joseyphina says:

        Sure of course. I’m honoured. 🙂


      3. Kim says:



  2. Kim says:

    Reblogged this on Unwalled and commented:
    Two days ago I received a post from my fellow blogger from Africa, Joseyphina ( entitled “Being The Other Woman” that I am re-blogging with her permission because it is a well written harsh reality that women, particularly young women, need to be very mindful of.

    Be enlightened as you read and be encouraged to pass it on.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nephila says:

    I am a betrayed spouse and I have absolutely no sympathy with women who are the other woman. None. Knowingly sharing a man they know is cheating is being the equal co-conspirator in a crime against innocents. There are no excuses. So I am hard line, take me or leave me.

    But you really didn’t know, right? Didn’t even suspect? So to me you weren’t the other woman. Not was she. Some men are psychopaths who lead double lives and there’s no need to blame either.

    The other woman knows she he the other woman and excuses it. She tells herself it’s complicated or he’s going to leave or he’s unhappy or whatever. She knows. She may go into denial but she knows. If you really didn’t know you’re not in that group.

    You would be if you continued after you know what you now know. But you’re not, right? So you’re clean.

    The only issue I have is that you now know he cheated on someone and I wish you would tell her. If she was me (and I had a newborn during the affair) she would want to know. She needs to know. She shouldn’t blame you. And I wouldn’t despite my hard line. I’m not saying she will be happy with you, but I don’t think she will blame you.

    Just because you didn’t do the wrong doesn’t mean you shouldn’t so the right by her.


    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks for the comment but this is purely fictitious. It isn’t my story or of any one else I know of. Must he hard being a victim but time heals all wounds.


      1. Nephila says:

        No, it doesn’t. Actually. I’m glad it’s fictitious but it’s still worth saying that being genuinely duped is not the same as being the other woman. The other woman is a horrible person. The duped person is just duped.


  4. Elly says:

    .No woman should ever aspire to be ‘the other woman’. Unfortunately we live in a world where lots of women would rather be the other woman for various reasons. Great piece:harsh reality!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joseyphina says:

      Thanks Elly. Appreciate the comment. 🙂


  5. Wonderfully written! I was reeled in, hook, line and sinker.
    You’ve got a deft hand with your skills. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

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