Rest For My Heart

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My eyes kept wandering all around
Searching and seeking for the one
Who would put my restless heart to rest
And bring my frantic pursuit to a satisfied end.

My mind kept racing trying to find
Who I might have missed along the way
But no one came to mind so I asked myself
Is there indeed someone out there for me?

Photo credits to Google (c) Images.

But all my doubts were washed away when I saw you
All my questions were answered when I met you
My mind stopped wandering when my eyes found you
My heart found peace because it had found rest in you

I felt peace because I knew my heart had finally found a home
A home where I could find rest from all my wanderings
A home where I can grow and age with you
And enjoy my rest with you until my last breath.

Love Without Eyes S2 Chapter Thirty Three

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So peace dwelt in the homes and hearts of the Bourbons and the Tudors as long as they stayed away from each other. But everything was about to change when fate made their paths cross again.
“Honey, I spoke with Mitch earlier today and he mentioned he’ll be in town with Anita this weekend. So I was thinking, how about we invite them to the lunch we have with our parents?” Ted asked his wife as she prepared dinner.
“Oh I see; sure. I need the consent of our mothers first. You know they can be pretty hotheaded sometimes.”
“Okay,” Ted agreed, rubbing her back.
“Where’s Gail? Is she still sleeping?”
“Yep. I’ll go and check up on her,” Ted said and kissed Lucia’s cheek.
“Okay, honey.” The idea of Mitch and Anita resurfacing in their lives got her thinking. They parted on good terms, of course but the thought of them appearing at her front door brought chills down her spine. She knew they meant her and her family no harm but why is her heart beating nervously? She brushed the uneasy feeling off with a shrug.

Anita studied her husband closely as he excitedly told her about Ted’s invitation to lunch with the family. They have not had any physical contact with the Bourbons since the wedding although Mitch and Ted have been engaging in long chats over the telephone. She and Lucia have chatted over the phone a few times but they were usually brief and a bit distant. And who can blame them, their history is too much of a chapter to revisit.
“Did he ask us to come or you suggested it?” Anita asked.
“He offered and I accepted because I thought it would be great to see Monique and her baby girl. Don’t you think?” Mitch asked.
“Yeah of course. It’s been a while since I saw them and I wouldn’t mind having lunch with them but with the whole family? Don’t you remember the last time we had lunch with them?” Anita reminded him.
“Of course I do but it’s all in the past now. We are together and we’re happy. No matter how long it takes, we’d still have to meet them one day, right?”
Anita nodded with a smile. Ted smiled back, touching her face. He got up and walked to the kitchen. Anita sighed.
Of course she would love to see Ted again. After all, he still owns a part of her heart. She had tried her best to put the past behind her and move on with her life with Mitch. Having to see him again…does not really sound like a good and safe idea for her. But how could she relay this fear to Mitch without letting him know that she is not totally over his friend?

Lucia went to visit her parents one afternoon with little Gail. Mr. Baker occupied herself with his granddaughter whiles Lucia kept her mother company in the kitchen. Lucia took a piece of chopped carrot from the board and popped it into her mouth.
“You still haven’t changed, huh?” her mother said, shaking her head.
“I am still a Baker. Mum, Ted spoke to Mitch the other day and he mentioned our upcoming lunch. Would you mind if he passes by with his wife?” Mrs. Baker dropped her knife which startled Lucia. She gave her daughter a very dangerous look.
“You find peace boring, don’t you Monique?”
“What are you talking about, mother?”
“We were deeply grateful when Anita left town to live with her husband and you could finally enjoy your husband without any interference and you’re inviting her back?”
“It’s not like I’m inviting her to crash at our place over the weekend. It is just lunch, mum.”
“Is that what you tell yourself so you can have a good sleep at night? Because that’s not helping. You don’t bring the cat near the fish you first drove it away from. Because for the second time, it could actually get the fish.”
“What’s with the parable, mother? I’m not that delighted about the idea either but Ted seems very excited about having them over. He hasn’t seen his long time buddy since his wedding.”
“Which part of this can’t you see the red lights blinking hard? He will be here with Anita, the woman who seems to never fall out of love with her husband and Mitch himself has a history of falling for you. Do you need me to tell you how potentially disastrous this could be?”
“Don’t blow this out of proportion, mother. Nothing is going to happen. I’m agreeing to this because it would make Ted happy. That’s all what matters to me. All other implications are unimportant. We’ll just have lunch and everyone will go back to his or her life.”
“Whatever gets you through the day. But don’t let your guard down because Anita is wearing a wedding ring. It can easily be ignored.”
“I hear you, mummy. Thanks for agreeing.”
“I haven’t but what can I say?”
Lucia took a slice of cucumber and bit into it. “Thanks, mummy.”

Lucia and her two mothers were busily working in the kitchen whiles the two fathers decided to amuse themselves with their little granddaughter. The ladies all paused when they heard Ted scream happily.
“I’m sure his best friend and wife are in. Why don’t you go and welcome them?” Mrs. Bourbon suggested. Lucia wiped her hands with a napkin.
“Sure; I’ll be right back.”
Lucia put on her best smile when her eyes met Anita’s. She opened her arms towards her. Anita smiled back and walked into her arms.
“Good to see you again, Anita. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, but honestly I had my reservations about coming over. We’ve had enough drama for a revisit, don’t you think?” Anita said.
“I totally agree. Felt the same way but we’d have to put our misgivings aside for our dear beloveds, right?” Lucia said. Anita shrugged.
“Please make yourself comfortable or if you would care to join us in the kitchen…”
“I’d rather join you in the kitchen. I can see your little girl is keeping the fathers occupied. She’s really cute.”
“Oh yeah, she is.”
“I wonder how mine would look like by now.” Lucia froze at the comment. She turned to glance at her only to meet a tight smile from Anita. She swallowed.
“Shall we?” Lucia entered the kitchen and she followed suit. The two mothers paused their conversation at the sight of Anita.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Bourbon.”
“Good afternoon. You’re welcome. How’s married life?” Mrs. Bourbon asked.
“Great. I’ve enjoyed it so far.”
“Good to know.”
Throughout the lunch, Ted and Mitch chatted heartily whiles Lucia and Anita commented on one thing or the other once in a while. After they were done, Anita helped Lucia clear the table. They put the dishes in the sink.
“Hey Monique, I’m sorry for that remark back then. It was uncalled for,” Anita apologized.
“I thought all that was behind us now,” Lucia said.
“It is…it just slipped out. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”
“Well, you did,” Lucia said and walked out. Soon after, Mitch kept Lucia company in the kitchen whiles Ted and Anita tried to catch up on what was going on in their lives.
“You have a beautiful daughter, Monique,” Mitch said.
“Thanks; why wouldn’t she when she has a beautiful mother and an amazing looking father?” Mitch chuckled.
“Well said. I miss you.” Lucia glanced at him and noticed that longing look in his eyes. She smiled.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Punish yourself and deprive Anita of your heart’s full attention.”
“I’m not. I’m just saying…”
“I know what you’re saying and I’m telling you not to do that. Let’s not reopen old wounds.” He nodded. She hugged him.
“You’ll be fine. You two will be happy together.” He held her tightly.
Anita stopped in her tracks at the door and swallowed.

On That Day

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Hearts overwhelmed by His wondrous works…

How glorious it will be on that day!
When the happenings of this world is all behind us;
And all we will ever experience from then is the glory of the Lord forever and ever more.
When all we can say is Hallelujah to the Lamb who sits on the throne;
Who has won the victory for us; wiped our tears and taken away our pain;

Our precious sacrificial Lamb;
Now the risen King;
Seated in majesty;
Eternity is His reign;

Photo credits to Google (c) Images.

Through his pain He relieved us of ours;
By His stripes, we are healed of all infirmities, existent and yet-to-be;
The only One who conquered death and the grave and lives for eternity;
By His blood, we are sanctified;
We have been bought with His pure precious blood.

Can’t imagine how I’d feel;
Full of uncontrollable tears because of His endless grace;
Or full of praise for His goodness?
All of it, I believe.
We would have to see that day to tell for ourselves.

Inspired by “The Anthem” track by Planetshakers.

What You See In The Mirror

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Your perception creates a whole new world for you. :)

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

What is a mirror? Just a reflective glass which shows you what you look like. So one can say the mirror is objective in what it displays. But what we see when we look in the mirror could be totally different from the mirror is trying to communicate to us. It all boils down to perception.

Some people stand in the mirror and see themselves for who they are: simple, flawed but determined to make the best of what is left of their lives. Others only see what others say of them (especially the negatives). Some see who they will be in the near future whiles others see the past and the scars it inflicted on them.
Some see the good of themselves at a time, some the bad and some others the ugly side of life. How can it be when it is the same face staring at the same mirror?

You choose what you want to see when you look at yourself. Life may have scarred you badly but you can tell yourself you look beautiful. I am not referring to denying what you have been through but moving past it and acknowledging the beautiful side of what life has to offer.

Photo credits to Google (c) Images.

Many people advise that we say good and positive things about ourselves when we stare at our images in the mirror. Because you choose what you want to see about yourself. Instead of the open wounds and ugly scars, you can choose to see the future instead where all scars are healed and you have been totally restored. It all starts in the mind. What your mind processes is translated into what you think you see about and around you.

So next time you look at the mirror, don’t ask it who the fairest of them all is. Tell it you are the fairest it has ever seen. If you can’t see yourself as someone with a bright potential, how do you expect someone else to do so?
You are unique. You are alive because the world needs you to. You can help make a difference no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Don’t let your mirror lie to you. You are beautiful in your own special day.

A letter to the 18-year old version of me

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Photo credits to Google (c) Images

Happy birthday to you! I am sure you are excited that you have finally joined the adult club. The future shines bright with various prospects and possibilities and you feel like the world is yours to conquer. It is a good feeling. Don’t lose it; there will be times where you’d feel you are stuck and there is no way for a turnaround but your faith will cause a breakthrough for you.

It feels relieving to be in charge of yourself; your decisions, thoughts and emotions. But with the liberty comes the responsibility of making the right choices and not straying from the path your family trained you to tread on. As you move on in life, you will get to meet various sorts of people who would influence you in diverse ways. Some would add value to you; others would want to draw some virtue out of you. So never lose guard; always assess your relationships and make the necessary adjustments.

The road ahead is not an easy one but with God on your side, you will sail through every storm unscathed. Take one day at a time and give out your best in everything that you do. You will lose friends along the way but it is okay. You will get over it. As you lose some, you will make new ones. Always remember everything and everyone in your life is there for a season and a purpose. You may not fully appreciate it now but you will in due time.

People will call you ‘weird’, ‘odd’ and ‘unusual’; because you are different. Don’t take it the wrong way. You know you are unique. Don’t let anyone make you doubt who you are. They may tease you but inwardly, they admire you and wish they could be like you.

Continue to shine wherever you find yourself, because you are a child of the King. Let them know whose ambassador you are and they would have no choice but to accept it. I am sure by the time you get to the age I am at the moment (way ahead in the future), you would have grown spiritually, emotionally and intellectually to deal with the pressures of this life.
You will be fine. You always have.

With love,
An older version of you.

Does It Really Matter Who Knows You?

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Why do we strive so hard to be the best?
Do we do it for the inner satisfaction?
Or the main goal is to get recognized?

Why make a big deal when someone popular mentions us in a tweet or tags us in a post?
Why define our success by the number of thumbs up given by celebrities?
And why measure our impact or influence by the reviews given by the Times and the number one position?
It has indeed become a must to establish networks and it is normal to become ambitious to be the very best of ourselves. But we shouldn’t belittle our standards and our capabilities just to meet the approval of those we think matter in society. Your music might never be number one on the billboards or your book may never be rated as New York Times number one but you are no failure.

Your talents may not be duly appreciated by the world but your prayers are answered by the God who created this awesome universe and runs it flawlessly. All you need to do is call out to Him and you immediately have His full attention. If you can catch the attention of the owner of the universe, then you are more important than you esteem yourself.

So what if after all your hard work and toil, you do not gain the acknowledgment you so craved for? Would you be satisfied with just knowing that you have accomplished what you were born to do? Will you have the heart to be content knowing that God is pleased with your steadfast faithfulness to your calling?

It doesn’t really matter if the famous people in your field do not know you; your Creator does and as long as He is pleased with your efforts, then your work is done.

Inspired by “Satisfied” track by The Walls Group.

Love Without Eyes S2 Chapter Thirty Two

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Ted lifted his head at the sound of someone knocking on his door.
“Hi,” Mitch greeted as he entered. Ted dropped his pen and leaned back in his seat.
“Hey…have a seat. If you’re here for your fiancée, I’m sorry you just missed her. She had to go do some shopping and she dragged my wife along with her.”
“Yeah, she told me about that. I came to see you, TB.”
“Okay…what about?” Mitch sat down.
“I know we are not where we used to be and getting there will take longer than we both anticipate and it’s all my fault. But this upcoming wedding means a lot to Anita and it is one of the few days you wish to share memories with those who matter to you. You’ve always been my best friend no matter how bad things have turned out between us. We both dreamed of being each other’s best man at our weddings but I wasn’t here to be yours but I would like you to be mine. Perhaps we could hit the refresh button and start all over. So what do you say?”
Ted spent the next minute studying his old friend and tapping the tip of the pen on the desk repeatedly.
“Why are you getting married to Anita, Mitch?”
“Because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I think I’m in love with her.”
“You think?”
“What do you want me to say, TB? One cannot be absolutely sure these days, right? Judging from the rate of divorce these days…”
“I was sure about Lucia.”
“Never had cold feet, even once?”
“I don’t remember…in fact, she had it more than I did. I gave her every cause not to marry me but she came through for me. What else can I ask for?”
“She is one unique lady. You got lucky.”
“I consider myself blessed. Do you consider yourself blessed that you found Anita?”
“What’s with the questions, Ted?”
“Just want to make sure you’re marrying her because you love her and not because you cannot get the one you really desire.”
“Who, your wife?” Ted sat back in his seat. Mitch chuckled and got up.
“I thought making you my best man could be the first step to getting us back on track but now I realize how futile that is. Have a nice day, Ted.”
“Wait. I’ll agree on one condition.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Promise me that you’re marrying her for her and not for any twisted reason and that you’d take care of her like she deserves.”
“So what, you’re her loving cousin now?”
“I do care about Anita, Mitch. And I know I will suffer the implications if this thing goes south and I don’t want to go through that. Lucia deserves better than that. So do we have a deal?”
Mitch offered him his hand. Ted took it.
“Deal.”

Anita knocked on the office door softly. Ted lifted his head.
“Hey you’re back. Where’s my wife?”
“She went ahead to meet up with her old man.”
“Oh I see.”
“Yeah, one of the perks of the being the only child of a wealthy business guru.”
Ted laughed.
“We were born into the life. We are used to it.” A minute of silence passed.
“So here we are…on either sides of the table.”
“How do you feel, getting married?” Ted asked.
“Excited…anxious…a bit skeptical but really excited. How did you feel?”
“Couldn’t wait to get married. I am happy that you’ve found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
“Yeah. How’s life with Monique so far?”
“Very interesting. We have fun, intimate moments and very heated arguments. I guess it’s pretty balanced. But now that she’s pregnant, she can become intense at any moment but you know me, I’m good at calming her down.”
“Uh huh, the Bourbon charm. Yeah I had an intense moment with your wife today. I forgot the downside of being knocked up. She was so emotional about everything! She seemed more excited about the wedding than I am. When we went cake-tasting, she went explosive. She ate it all and was so hyper that I actually had to buy her one. She was all over the place!” Ted laughed.
“Welcome to my world; that’s the new normal for me.”
“I so don’t envy you right now, Ted.”
“Yeah, a piece of advice for you: be careful what you say around her or else you’ll spend the next hour apologizing for it.” Anita shook her head in disbelief.
“Who would have thought that Monique…”
“Hi there…” Lucia’s voice sang out. They both glanced at her. Lucia’s mouth was full with cake.
“It’s really good, Ted. I think we should get some for the house.”
“Okay, baby.”
“Okay; I’ll be heading out now. I can see you have your hands full now,” Anita said to Ted. They both got up and hugged.
“I wish you all the best in your marriage, Anita.”
“Thanks, Ted.”
“See you soon, Monique. Take some rest, okay? You must be exhausted.”
“And hungry. I like your cake.”
“Of course you do. Bye.”
Ted watched his wife munching on the cake like a little girl. She stretched her hand toward him.
“Want some cake, honey? It’s amazing.”
“I’m good, thanks. But I’m sure our baby wants more. So why not eat it for him?”
Lucia smiled. “I will.”

Two months later, a simple but lovely ceremony was held for Mitch and Anita to be united in holy matrimony with Ted and Lucia being the best man and lady of honor respectively. After they were pronounced man and wife, the newlywed couple turned and the first people they laid their eyes on were the ones they secretly loved and wished to be with. It should have been you marrying me today, Anita thought as she gazed at Ted who smiled at her whiles Mitch’s dreamy eyes blinked with desire as they focused on the beautiful and pregnant Lucia. But when they faced each other, their hearts were fairly satisfied. They could make it work, they knew they could. Although their hearts were beating for someone else, they could learn to love each other…or so they thought. They kissed.

“They really look like they are in love with each other,” Lucia observed as they watched the couple take the first dance.
“Yeah, it surely seems that way. Do you care to dance with me?” Ted asked, offering his hand. Lucia smiled and her eyes beamed with joy as she took his hand.
Mitch closed his eyes for a moment as he continued his dance with his new bride.
When he opened them, his gaze fell on his friend and his wife dancing. His heart melted as he watched Lucia laugh and get kissed by her husband. Mitch kissed Anita’s neck. Anita’s eyes also fell on Ted and Lucia. She held Mitch more tightly.
Mitch stared into the eyes of his new wife.
“We are going to be happy together,” he promised. Anita nodded hopefully.

The Bourbons’ love continued to blossom following the birth of their baby girl. And since Anita had moved out of town to be with her husband, Lucia’s mind and heart were finally at peace now that all the drama was behind her. Now she knew she had her husband all to herself. Anita is gone and never coming back. Her happily-ever after had just begun.