Back to Eden

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I woke up to find myself in a beautiful garden, serene and perfect in every way.  My father had created the perfect world for me to live in. Every day was bliss; enjoying daily walks with Him; talking about anything and everything. I did not know what fear was; I always felt safe. And so that’s how my life was: enjoying the presence of my daddy and the beautiful garden He had given me. Everything in the garden was mine to have and enjoy. The only world I knew was the paradise my daddy had given me and I was content with it.

But on one fateful day, a voice whispered in my ear; telling me how much I was missing out, cooped up in my little world. And that there was a larger world outside the confines of where I was and unlike my home, I could experience full freedom. I could do anything I could think of; no restrictions. The words sounded good in my ears so for the first time, I ran away from home, from the loving arms of my father into a world where I knew no one and no one cared about me.

As I ran, I could hear my father calling me, but I didn’t heed to him. I felt he had lied to me about the garden being the only place when there was a whole other world to explore. For a while, I allowed myself to do whatever I pleased and found them pleasurable (or so I thought). But I realized that, after it all, the noise and the fun, I felt empty inside. I felt lonely for the first time. I missed my daily walks and chats with my father in the lovely garden. I looked at myself and found my garment dirty and soiled. I was bruised and scarred all over. I thought I was having fun but instead, I was hurting myself. The voice lied to me; this wasn’t freedom. It was bondage in disguise. I was chained to my desires and I wanted out.

So after a long thought, I decided to go back home. I looked all around but I couldn’t find the way. I asked around but no one could help me find my way back. In the midst of my despair, I whispered a prayer to my father to come get me. I almost gave up on the idea of reuniting with my father when I met this gentleman who introduced himself as my father’s beloved son. He told me he could get me back home if I would believe him and take his hand.

But my misdeeds since I left home caught up with me and I was to pay for them. I was scared; I thought it was all over. But this gentleman took my place and died in my stead, paying my debts. I was shocked but grateful. No one had shown me such true affection since I left home. But my story didn’t end there. He came back to life and assured me that He was going back home to prepare a place for me. I asked him if my father was still angry with me for leaving home but He smiled and said, “He sent me here just for you; He loves you and can’t wait to see you again.”

Those words filled my heart with joy as he left. Amazingly, I never felt alone. Although he was gone, I could feel his presence with me all the time. It felt just like when I was at home with my father. Whenever the storms of this cold world threatened my peace, I just had to call out to him and he would be there, comforting me.

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Photo credits to Google Images.

So I’m still here, patiently waiting in anticipation for him to come get me back home. It doesn’t matter how long it takes; but I do believe he will come. Even if I die waiting, all what matters is that I get to meet my father again…in the garden. It would be like I never left. I know I’ll go and meet in wide open arms, with love in his eyes and tears of joy on his face. But I can only imagine what I’ll do when I see my father again.

Would I run to his arms or would I go down on my knees with gratitude, soaking in the fact that I was back home…for good? I do know he has a big banquet awaiting my return. He is as eager to see me as I am.

So I continue to wait, I thank his son every day in my heart for coming to my rescue when I was lost and helping me find my way back to my father. Although I’m living in the world, I’m not of it. I am just passing through with his presence with me all the time.

I can’t wait to get back to Eden, my home.

What Was I Thinking? IV

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Amazingly, Karen didn’t freak out the way I expected when I broke the news to her. Instead, she asked quietly, “How sure are you?”

“As sure as I know today is a Wednesday.”

“You’ve been drowning yourself in worry that it might happen. That can affect your cycle, you know.”

“Mine is like clockwork no matter what mood I’m in.”

“We’ll see about that.” She excused herself and came back five minutes later holding two pregnancy test kits. She threw them on my lap.

“Try them and see.”

“You want me to pee on a stick?”

“You’ll be doing worse if you find out for sure. Now be quick with it.”

I got up with pouted lips and entered the bathroom. Why does she make me feel like a kid sometimes?

She lifted it off the table and glanced at it and turned it to I could see it for myself.

“I’m not?”

“Uh huh, just as I suspected.”

“Huh,” I said thoughtfully. Karen studied me closely.

“You don’t seem relieved about it.”

“I am…of course I am.”

“But a part was convinced that you are. Thank God He had pity on you or you’d end up being one miserable person for the rest of your life.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t believe I broke up with Tony over a false alarm.”

“You told him without being totally sure?”

“Well he asked me what was wrong with me and I told him what was bothering me.”

“And what did he say? That he wasn’t ready to be a father? Very typical.”

“But I could go back and tell him it was a mistake on my part and maybe we could…”

“Seriously, Em? You should be thankful that he’s gone. If you were to be pregnant, he wouldn’t lift a finger to help you. Why would you even think of going back to him?”

“Well, obviously it was unplanned and we are both young. Next time, we would be more careful…”

“Next time? You’re planning on having a next time? Why am I even surprised? Your cookie jar has already lost its seal.”

“Here we go again! And if you care to know, I was the one who ended things with him.” Karen arched a brow.

“Good for you.” I blinked hard, waiting for her approval.

“It’s still a no,” she said bluntly. I sighed.

“I don’t even need your permission…”

“To what, run back into the arms that just let you go just an hour ago? Of course you don’t.” I sat back quietly on the bed with a face of a girl who had just been refused candy.

“But he’s sweet to me and very caring.”

“If all that’s what you need, any guy out there can fit that criteria. It’s in their DNA! They can be as sweet and charming as you want until…”

“They get that cookie; I get it. But Tony is my first love…”

She walked out, slamming the door behind her before I could finish my sentence. Karen can be such a…sweetheart sometimes.

But my mind was made up by the time I woke up the next morning. I was going to give Tony a second chance. Who doesn’t deserve one? So I took my sweet time dressing up, just for him.

“You know you’re late, right?” You-know-who’s voice asked. I checked my watch.

“Oh no…” I rushed out.

Halfway to the lecture hall, I realized I forgot to take my notebook. Ah well, I could always ask for Tony’s or better yet, ask him sweetly to write them for me. Oh, I get to look into those cute eyes again! I literally felt my body go all gooey…

My happy mood came to a pause when I entered the hall and caught the lecturer’s cold gaze at me. I coiled and sat down quietly. I looked around to see if I could find Tony. He was sitting beside one of his close buddies. He turned halfway and for a brief second, our eyes met. But before my smile could fully come out, he had looked away. For a minute, the incomplete smile froze on my face. I could swear he saw me. Why did he look away without the courtesy of even a nod? Maybe he didn’t, the hopeful (and silly) part of me said consolingly. When the class ended, I was the first to walk out. I wanted to stand at a place where he would see me well this time so we could talk. I ran my fingers through my hair one last time to be sure…

Then he came out with his friend.

“Hi Tony!” I called out, my voice ringing out a bit too excited than I wanted. He looked up at me, gave a curt nod and walked on.

A part of me died that instant. From that moment, I swore never to love again. I’d walk through life heartless; only in flesh. That’s when I met Fitz.

Typical Writing Day

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Photo credits to Google Images.

I stare at the page blankly with nothing in mind;

Glancing hard at the blinking cursor on the screen;

Hoping that it would give me some spark of inspiration;

Then my fingers begin to tap on the keys after what feels like eternity;

And words suddenly appear-some making sense;

Others, not so much but I keep on typing.

 

As the clock ticks away the seconds, the words flow more effortlessly;

The ideas begin to take shape; my fingers working faster than my brain;

Word by word, sentence by sentence, I get a piece.

I breathe out wondering where all the words came from;

Asking myself why I wrote that particular one;

I later find out it’s the answer to some question I’ve been asking myself.

 

Then I read it over and over and I know it’s just for me;

But why do I share it with others?

Because I believe there’s someone out there in the same dilemma as I am;

Probably not the same but parallel;

And perhaps needs to read it before it gets too late.

After all, sharing is caring.

 

Maybe you get your answers or inspiration in another way;

Find a way to share it with others because believe it or not,

People are depending on your words or actions to get through the day.

Might not seem like much but it does make a difference.

 

We wake up with blank minds, ready to absorb anything;

Why not be the one to put in some good word to lift the spirit;

Calm the heart and put the body at ease?

 

This is my typical writing day and I just thought of sharing that with you.

Have a lovely day, folks!

No Time To Waste

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Fill in the blank: Life is too short to___________.” Now, write a post telling us how you’ve come to that conclusion.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com

I’d say life is too short to hold a grudge. Holding on to some hurt or hate in your heart because of some wrong done to you only costs you your peace of mind. There is absolutely nothing to gain by hoarding negative sentiments within you. If the person eventually passes away, all you are left with is the feeling of anguish of having unfinished business with the deceased. And the feelings of hurt and hate are replaced with guilt and regret for not making up with the person before passing away.

Life is shorter than we think. A 24-hour period you took for granted doing virtually nothing productive was someone else’s last. And death loves to spring up surprises on its victims by appearing out of nowhere and snatching them into oblivion. Why not treasure each day as you have been spared, doing what you ought to do and doing it right? As much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men, the Bible says.

Learn to forgive when you are wronged. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t go to bed still fuming about it. You may never know what tomorrow holds and trust me, you don’t want to feel like you have wasted the days before harboring sentiments about something you would later feel is irrelevant.

No matter how old you are; life is still short and even shorter for some others. Make each day count. Make each day grudge-free.

On The Doctor’s Table

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Photo credits to Google Images.

As I lay on my bed, soaking my pillow with warm tears, I couldn’t help but blame myself for the dark pit I’ve found myself in. If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would have fled the scene when it was obvious the party was over. But my boyfriend had dumped me for one of the ‘hot’ girls with the lame excuse that I was too much of a good girl for him. So I decided to stay behind and prove to him and myself that I could be as loose and wild just like everyone else. So against my better judgment, I downed several cups of booze which left my head spinning. And I found myself grinning foolishly when I saw the captain of the basketball team checking me out.

Three months later down the line, here I was, lying on the doctor’s bed coerced to do away with the fruit of my foolishness or else have my college trust fund taken away. And as if that wasn’t enough, Geoffrey, the b ball guy didn’t only deny the pregnancy but went ahead to spread the cancerous rumor that he wasn’t the only guy who was with me that night so it could be anyone’s. So I was left humiliated, confused and stripped of any hope of having a bright future.

I was ready to go ahead with it and put it all behind me (since I was so not ready to upgrade my status to that of a mum) but the misfortune wasn’t over yet. Unfortunately for me, it was impossible to rip the baby away without having to take my womb with it (since the baby found it wise to cling to it so strongly that doing away with it had to mean a bigger and permanent sacrifice).  So against all odds, I decided to keep it. But I lost everything; the acceptance of my family and the chance to have a stable white collar life.

I left home and faced the harsh winds of life on my own. I don’t know where the strength and the courage came from but I did everything I could to cater for my baby boy including juggling two and sometimes even three jobs. It wasn’t easy; I sometimes cried with regret for just not making that hard choice and moving on with my life. But as the days went by, my despair was replaced with renewed hope as I watched my little boy grow up to be a natural talent in basketball. I then knew Andy would be great. Some more difficult years later and I found myself watching my son play pro basketball with everyone cheering him on.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched him display his prowess in the game. My heart was filled with pride and relief that I had made the right choice that day on the doctor’s bed. Geoffrey thought he had ruined me by abandoning us but instead he gave me this perfect gift who is going to be a sport legend. I might not have had the future I envisioned when I was a teen but I like this future too. I get to be the proud mother of someone big and I get to help him become all he needs to be. I smiled at my boy despite the tears on my face as our eyes met. He smiled back and kept on playing. And beside me was the best person I could ever find on earth to spend my life with. He was heaven sent.

My eyes opened and found myself on the doctor’s bed. It was all a dream. Here the doctor stood, ready to begin. I got out of the bed and without a single word, I ran out. I have seen a possible future and though it didn’t seem easy, I was ready to go down that road.

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You might be wondering why I’m telling this story. Maybe you’re going at a crossroads in life and you’re weighing the options of which road to take. Everyone around you might be telling you to take the easy road so as to correct some mistake you made. But if you could find the courage to make the right decision no matter how difficult it may seem at the time, you would later realize it pays to do things right and the reward, priceless.

SMILE

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Could last for just a second but it could change a life forever;

Doesn’t say much but speak volumes in meaning;

It is the a good sign for someone anxious about his day;

It is the light for someone who has been in the dark tunnels for so long;

It is the best and most costless gift you can give to friends and strangers alike.

 

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And when someone smiles at you, do your best to smile back;

Because although the face smiling might look sweet, you have no idea what’s behind it all;

It could be a desperate plea for someone to lighten her burden or pain with a return smile;

Just as the smile brightened your mood or day, she expects you to do same;

You may not have the right to her business; but she obliges you to make her forget her woes even it is only for a second.

 

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And when your smile is not returned;

Don’t ever stop smiling; after all everyone is minding his own business;

Don’t let the hardships of this life embitter your gentle soul;

Nor let its cruelty harden your heart;

No matter what life throws at you, don’t let it take away your smile.

 

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Because someone out there is counting on it to live through the day;

Because you need it to get through yours;

Because it’s the antidote to the venom of life’s ups and downs;

Simply because it doesn’t hurt to smile.

So, never stop smiling.

 

Inspired by the words of a friend who told me never to stop smiling. :)

When Love and Lust Collide…

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Love is perfect and pure; lust-imperfect and perverted;

Love is selfless in nature; lust is all-together selfish;

Love breeds in the heart; lust consumes the body;

One trait they do share: they are both strongly passionate.

 

Love is sacred; that is why it is cherished in the hearts of those who find it;

Lust is shameless; that is why it goes after its object without considering the consequences;

Love looks beyond what the eyes can see; it finds the beauty within;

Lust only salivates after what it sees; it burns hot and quenches after satiated.

 

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If love is pure, perfect and sacred, why then is it portrayed through acts of passion?
If love is about the heart feeling whole, why is it described with bedroom moans and groans?

The world in a super-evolving era is twisting and perverting the definition of such a beautiful word. Many people claim they have found it, but have they? What if they only lust after the people they think they love?

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Photo credits to Google Images.

What happens when love and lust collide?
Who is stronger to overcome the other?
Love makes stronger by building up; lust destroys by chipping pieces away.

Is your love making you stronger or tearing pieces of you away?
The answer will tell you which one of the two you’re actually harboring.